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We Are Flying Solo

Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts

July 21, 2015

How Not To Get Hot


Famous last words:  “I was going to wait & ride at 8:00 pm since it’s 907% humidity, but heck with it, it’s already 6:30 pm, that’s close enough!

Nausea, dizziness, stomach cramping, fatigue, shortness of breath, & nausea are all signs of…what was that, kids?  Dumbassery?  Well, yes.  That actually might be a better answer than my old friend, heat perishing (it sounds better than the completely non-dramatic label ‘exhaustion’).

I did ride, though!  It just took me three times longer to hose Encore between gasping on the floor in front of the fan, sipping water, & thinking, “Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t throw up…”

Wow.  That Sounds, Um, Fun?  What The Why?

You’d think I’d be immune to working in the stickiest of the Carolina versions of air.  I mean, at least I was on a horse while the sun set instead of on the bow of an aluminum electrofishing boat wearing black rubber gloves at mid-day!

Alas, just as we must condition our horses to work in heat every year, we must prepare our own physiology for the demands of melting from the inside out.

Yes, totally what I look like sweating
Pre-Ride Tips For You
(aka all the things I didn’t do last night, but learned from a very smart pro athlete)

  • Drink a bottle of water beforehand.  
    • Even before you fetch Dobbin from the pasture or, if trailering, before you exit the truck on arrival.  I sweat a LOT.  Like, a greased pig in a sauna on the surface of the sun a lot.  All my water bottles are 1 L (~32 oz.) or larger.  After I made this a hard rule, it was literally night & day after XC – I could breathe!
  • Dress smart.  
    • Light, wicking materials are your very best friend & I’ll happily share my secrets for budget-friendly options from sports bras to shirts & breeches.  If I see a cotton shirt in July, I’ll run screaming.  And I don’t run (technically am not allowed to run, at least I got something good out of that mess).
  • Fuel your muscles.  
    • You’re saddled up & hydrated, but just before you get on, snarf a small protein bar or one of those electrolyte yogurt pack thingies that sort of tastes like you’re swallowing a salty booger (yeah, you’re running to buy those now, aren’t you?).  I choke down the latter & then chase it with 8-12 oz. of water as I’m readying my bridle. 
  • If possible, take swigs during walk breaks.  
  • Closer to reality...
    • Obviously, not an option at a gallop, although wouldn’t it be nice if jump judges could toss you a sip every 1/3 of the course, like bikers & runners do???  I could go for misting jumps, too.  That water jump’s really too shallow to stay cool; even if you can’t resist the swim, well, then it’s your last jump anyway, oops. 
  • On sports drinks:  never drink them straight (I mean, undiluted, I mean...you know what I mean, LOL).  
    • You’ll note that so far, I’ve only mentioned water alone.  Human metabolism flips a switch when exertion begins.  Before the switch, you can’t process any of the electrolytes anyway, you’ll just have more expensive pee, & even lighter versions, such as G2, have too much sugar (not knocking sugar, it’s one of my diet staples), which will just give you a quicker burnout.  After you start working, though, a bottle cut in half with water knocks the concentration down to a useful level & staves off fatigue. 
I don’t love the flavour, but after I felt the dramatic relief, I found one I could live with.  I just stock up when they are on sale at 10 for $10 at the grocery store!

Or that...
In case you forget, I find bribing a friend or sympathetic-looking passers-by to walk your horse as you drag off as many layers as possible while collapsing prone in the nearest patch of shade, trying to bring your pulse rate back below 100, to be a perfectly acceptable backup strategy.

How About That Ride?

Overwhelming desire to retch aside, Encore felt pretty decent.  It’s been a rough while for me, health & energy-wise, so he has been carefully managed using the “Slowest Rehab Ever” approach since he sprained his stifles during his X-Games.  In other words, I’ve been able to do about one short ride a week.  :/

In the spirit of keeping a positive context, though, I can’t afford to travel anyways & I’m a firm believer that 15 minutes of quality work with hills, energy, & correct transitions, is better than 45-60 minutes of mediocre riding when I tire or we both get cranky & sloppy.

We’d be much further along if, you know, someone else paid the mortgage so I could focus on the planned, excruciatingly consistent daily work that blistering would have required.  Or even just the lower-key muscle-building without the chemical intervention.  Oh yeah, & my own body would return to its super-human state circa 2010 or so.

Pls shade.
But I’m mostly ok with where we are for now.  Encore started out with a strong, balanced trot & was able to maintain his shape much more easily through turns & slopes.  I’ve continued to practice my YES I CAN goal & am getting ever closer to unlocking that stubborn left arm.

Encore tired quickly, so our canter work was quite lean-y as he got sore behind.  But that didn’t worry me too much, given noted humidity levels (I actually hosed him before riding as both horses were caked in dirty sweat, even standing in the shady run-in all day) paired with to-date infrequent rides.

Now What?

I’m currently taking some extended leave from work over the next two weeks.  I suppose the best category is “recovery leave,” so I can hopefully step off the vicious cycle of utter exhaustion combined with high stress before it eats up any more of me.  More realistically, I need a sabbatical, but PhD (Practicality Has Disappeared, hee) was not the route for me!!
 
I can has back?
Just being able to move at my own speed for a little is an enormous relief already, so I’m glad I was finally able to beat my guilt into submission & commit to doing it:  I’ve given plenty of sweat & blood for that time & the last break I can remember that actually involved rest was in 2010.  Both orange boys are actually ready to work at present (which I just jinxed, sigh), maybe we can get our routine back.

Speaking of practice, fill me in!  You shared your CAN DO goals, how did you do?

Even if you didn’t catch that post on the first round, I’d love to hear about a detail you’ve been working on!  Leave a comment, better yet, tell us how you’ve practiced; I’m always excited to see everyone’s ideas & have a chance to try new approaches!! 

July 10, 2015

Pool Party: Solo Style!

Don't you hate it when it's too sticky to ride in the afternoon?  BUT!  There is still equine entertainment to be had that doesn't result in sweat!

Although I didn't get an invitation.  Typical.  They probably snuck the beers in after I went inside...

Who needs hosing? *apology disclaimer for lack of real camera in pocket*

Aaaand that's why I call him my hippo.  I've been known to scramble on bareback with a neckstrap & swim him around a pond or two:  So. Much. Fun.  Although he's a very powerful swimmer, gotta keep your legs clear of hooves...

Solo:  "C'mon in, bro, nothing bites except me!" (Encore is the clothed one)

Finally, the temptation is too great...who can resist the full head-dunk??

I believe that is Encore's first, adorable, tiptoe pond swim.

i did it image

February 28, 2015

You Know That Day You Were All Like “Imma Be A Hero!” Pt II

Here Come The Awesome Points!

After meticulously clearing spaces around all levers & pedals, I slip the tractor into 4x4, put the transmission in (s)low gear, & begin the crawl towards my road.
 
Snow, hay, it all drags, right???
Hold on to your panties, because…it’s working!  I keep the drag teeth adjusted at just the right height so they don’t reach the fragile, saturated soil beneath.  They break up the tire tracks so there is no risk of creating packed ice.  I move to the side of my path every few minutes to lift the drag, dropping accumulated snow so it doesn’t get too heavy.

Richard’s house is very close to the street, our driveways connect, so as I turn (about 20 mins later…I wasn’t kidding about slow) onto his section to make my entrance as Epic Rescue Neighbour, I see him with snow shovel in hand, having just cleared the edges of his carport.  He waves & walks down the hill, so I stop & switch off the tractor to chat.

Begin Subtraction Of Attempted Awesome Points

I excitedly point to my Ingenious Solution & proudly announce that I could finally repay him for…at least 1% of all he’s done.  Richard grins & replies.   

*insert trademark NC retiree accent here*

Great!  I was just about to start up the skidsteer.  I was just gonna plow a quick loop around our driveways up here by the pole barn & the street so it’ll get down to that black surface & melt faster.

Oh, yeah, he also owns an industrial skidsteer to which he added a 5’-wide bitey bucket of his own.  And a 10,000-lb excavator.  And pretty much anything else you can think of (except a drag!!).

Aww, Richard!”  You’d think I’d have learned my odds of success whenever I start to think I’m awesome.  “Dang it, now you ruined it!  How am I ever going to be helpful when you own every toy in the world??!”  I’m laughing at the same time, so it wasn’t as heartless as it sounds, hee.

As Richard is also the trademark, old-school southern farmer-type (of the best subspecies in that genus), with a heart of gold & an enormous Compulsive Helping complex, he, also laughing, insists that, no, no, my Ingenious Solution is still helpful.  ROFL.
 
Stubborn Woman Will Help You Whether You Like It Or Not

And once she has started, she’s not stopping just because you can swoop around 30 times faster on your all-terrain tracks & clear everything better than a snowplow because you have 80,000 hours of experience.  Nope, she’ll follow you around with the drag, breaking up & smoothing the skidsteer tracks.  Hey, it looks prettier & it will increase meltage even more.  Go team!!

Naturally, Richard’s Helping complex also kicked in, so when he finished his loop, he proceeded to polish off my entire driveway, including my tractor path back to the run-in.

Endgame

Me = 100 points for good intentions, 10 points for actual usefulness

Richard = 1,000 more Awesome Points to add to his already uncountable total, all of which are also 100% actually useful

TL;DR:  My personal slogan may be something like, “Dang, I tried to help,” but I am possibly the luckiest farm owner ever when it comes to neighbours.

Just for pretty factor, our much more well-behaved snowfall from January, which melted in two hours, like proper NC winter should!
shadowfx01's Jan 2015 Snowfall album on Photobucket

February 26, 2015

You Know That Day You Were All Like “Imma Be A Hero!” -- Pt. I

Richard w/ hydraulic driver = epic
Where you could finally pay back Epically Awesome Neighbour for the ten million things he’s helped you with?

Just face it, you’re never going to be the hero.  But you get an A for effort.

Back Story

Ok, I am heinously lucky & have two Epically Awesome Neighbours. 
  1. Vanessa, professional horse trainer & former 1* long-format eventer, kind, generous, helpful, &, along with her husband, welcoming from the very start.
  2. Richard, professional fence-builder/bush-hogger/idea-generator/general-rescuer-in-chief.  Technically retired, although he still works at LEAST as many hours as his thoughtful & entertaining wife.
I owe you many stories (I am so very sorry, work…there is not even an adjective), but this story is about Richard.

I could not have built this farm without him.  Because this is Richard.
Teaching me PROPER hi-tensile wire repair
 And this is Richard.

Need a telephone pole driven?
 And this is Richard.
Need a log moved so you can build your own XC jump?

He feeds my horses in the mornings when I have to travel (often) for work (to be fair, all three of us have horses & he is the end of my driveway, since the land I bought was his back pasture).  He splits spring & fall farm call fees with me since we use the same vet.  He stands guard as watchdog of my person & property (as well as our entire mini-community back here).

Not. Cool.  Although quite chilly.
Ok, So He’s Captain America

When I woke up this morning to 8” of fresh powder, somehow off-course from its proper destination at Whistler or, oh, I don’t know, anywhere but here (fine, it’s better than 3” of ice), I first said a lot of very bad words fed the horses.  I’d filled their heated trough yesterday & they were content munching hay under cover, but I wanted to at least reduce the depth of the fluffy white devil between their mouths & the master hay shed so I could move some bales tomorrow.


Tractor w/ drag attached in nicer times
Problem:  Tractor is wonderful, indispensible, infinitely fussed-over treasure, but using bitey bucket (aka Front End Loader [FEL] aka 4-in-1 bucket) as plow/bulldozer is near the top of the list of Mortal Tractor Sins (unless you like fixing hydraulic systems).

I fire it up; it needs to run anyway, wake up the battery, circulate the fluids, & when that little workhorse Shibaura diesel warms up, I can at least grab a couple bales of hay.
 
Looking For A Hero?

You know by now that one thing I am never short on is crazy ingenious solutions.  As I broom snow off the tractor (see above BETTER THAN ICE), my eyes settle on the currently-attached drag.  My brain immediately flashes an image of drag links rolling & spreading clumps of old hay in the paddocks.

Safe from my "ideas"
*insert light bulb here - probably also a warning sign*

Not only can I drastically speed driveway melting (it’s 0.3 hilly miles to the road, not that the latter is ever plowed or treated either) with my mad drag skillz (my favourite feature:  it has a welded frame, so you can lift it with your 3-pt hitch & avoid shredding hoses or destroying packed gravel), but I can swoop in with my disintegrating snow gloves blue diesel cape & take care of Richard’s driveway too!!

For, just yesterday, on my way home from my exotic beach conference, he’d mentioned that his tractor starter was dead.  It also does not have 4x4.  Thanks to me, if emergency vehicles are needed, there shall be access for all!


To be continued...

December 24, 2014

A Few Of My Favourite Things!

Sing it with me now!

*dons epic Julie Andrews voice, click if you need to tune yours...*

Haynets on doorknobs and blankets draped sideways,
Horseshoes in puddles and eagles that spy them,

Streams of clear water that drip from hay string;
These are a few of my favourite things.



Merry Xmas to me from Encore!
Poo-coated buckles and stick-tangled tails,
Fetlocks all muddy and rainfall-filled pails,

Notes to the shoer, who can’t wait for spring;
These are a few of my favourite things!







When the boot rips,
When the wind blows,
When I’m charging lamps,




I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feeeeeel
So daaamp.

Lovely...

December 20, 2014

Our Blogger Secret Santa Revealed: Thank You!!!

Random wrench was the closest metal object, I had to demo!
A thousand gratitudes to Molly, McKenna, & Phoenix at One Bud Wiser (yeah for OTTB buddies!) for the perfect gift of a magnetic wrist wrap.  Even in a pretty box!  I can't help but wonder if it will stop me from losing my marbles...

Hey, A Girl Can Dream

Even if it can't achieve that magical feat, I'm sure I'm not the only person who manages to drop the screw/bolt/nail/wire/snap/anything-opposable-thumbs-can-grasp. Every. Single. Time. 

In the grass. 

When the fallen object is inevitably dark-coloured. 

Not that it would help if it were glitter silver; with a contact Rx of -8 & astigmatism (I know, it's a wonder I can find the horses), once my useless hands have released any object, all projects must come to an astonishingly long halt while I pick through ground layers I never even knew existed.

Like my man-hands (psh, like I'd work on a Honda)?
So THANK YOU SO MUCH

I can't even imagine the sweet luxury of life with no bolts clamped in my teeth, no studs tracked like gold bullion, & the end of strings of profanity I only hope my dear neighbours can't hear, as the 357th screw bounces off the end of the impact driver. 

Now I just have to figure out what to do with all that free time.  Oh, I know, maybe I can FINISH AN ACTUAL FARM PROJECT.  Or, I don't know, something really crazy, like RIDE MY HORSES.  How's that for going out on a limb??!  I think I used to do that...

Kudos To Awesome Organizer & Participants!

Thank you again, Molly, & thank you to Tracy at Fly On Over for putting it all together!  I know I had lots of fun wrapping up some goodies...  Only horse people really know the strange & wonderful gifts horse people get excited about.

2014 FOR THE WIN!

December 18, 2014

Horze Enables My Inner Boot Addict & Safety Police All At Once?!

Um, not that kind of grail boot...WTF is that?
AND THERE WAS MATCHING!

I know, I had to take a few deep breaths too...

The Boots & The Blue

A few months ago, I shared my inadvertent discovery of the holy grail of bell boots:  no-turn boots that actually did not turn!  They continue their awesome, although they do live in the "special occasions" pile.  Ok, because I am not motivated enough to yank off the pull-ons Encore lives in...but also because they are so pretty.

Bee-yoo-tee-ful dark blue
In what I believe must be a covert agreement with the NSA, Horze discovered that in my initial "horse equipment acquisition" years, my weak spot of addiction lay smack in the middle of horse boots of every shape & size (geez, 2010 doesn't sound like that long ago, but pardon a moment of silence as I consider how much had not happened yet...).

Speaking of those boots of years past, I still have (& USE), in perfect condition, those Moxie ankle boots, the 5-strap Woofs from the trash can at Waredaca & both the Roma & N.E.W. front boots!

Click = embiggen
It turns out, though, that the beautiful matching shades of the No-Turn Boots & the Lyon Synthetic Gloves existed in a threesome.  I introduce to you the Horze Tendon Boot:  I challenge you to find a colour (there are NINETEEN) that doesn't match your ensemble!!

Naturally, there was only ONE appropriate choice for TFS & I confess I was taken aback a little by how much I liked them.  Both the plastic shell & the neoprene liner were just the right amount softer (mea culpa for that horrific grammar) than the Romas, lending the boot a nicer ability to mold to Encore's legs.  But they still felt sturdy, had strong velcro & stitching, and, erm, did I mention the matching...?

*places reverently in Pretty Boot Storage Basket with matchy bell boots*

Those are totes the trash-can Woofs...
And Safety Too?!

Be still my heart.  Because one pair wasn't enough.

Encore is a bit base-narrow behind, so he sometimes wears a set of Nunn Finer pastern wraps (always when studded, as at left).  However, the outer layer of these started falling off within one week of purchase.  I've continued to use them for several years, as the neoprene is fine.  The velcro is beginning to fail, so I do tape them with every use, so one could say it's becoming a bit of a pain.

Combine my casual lookout for their replacement & my insatiable desire for anything that says, "I AM NOT A DEER NOR CAN YOU CLAIM MY CORPSE RESEMBLED ONE" in our lovely NC Decembers and you get this:

Strappies
The Horze Reflective Leg Straps, which fit nicely on the big boy's pasterns & have a handy built-in "velcro failure backup system" in the nylon strap.  My only trouble was deciding what to do with the end of the strap once fastened.

Keepers are not included, so I'll likely just keep the tape handy.  Much easier to throw a thin strip around the end of the strap & still have insanely bright reflective power!

Alternatively, I may cut the end off entirely, although this does limit one's adjustability somewhat.  I don't have any plans to buy Clydesdales in the near future though...  The plastic buckle itself is a wee bit fiddly, but definitely clamps down tight & we had no rubs on a long, muddy ride through the woods.

Two hooves up!  Although if there is a passing car or a camera flash or a reflection off your sunglasses, you may see them so brightly that you'll walk into trees for the next five minutes.  That could just be me...

I swear upon Solo, pastern reflection from flash not enhanced!!

Not Everyone Is A Grinch

In the spirit of the season, the friendly folks at Horze added this festive helmet cover to the box.  Grinchy-me hesitated at first, but then realized a bright red helmet is yet another great way to stay very, very visible (particularly to folks who make their own seasons...or don't follow any at all)!

Solo's wonderful Minion Erica (thank you for being badass, Erica!) submitted the cover to a grueling ground test:  I think I can see it!


Thank you so much AGAIN to the super-friendly folks at Horze for giving me the opportunity to want even more of their stuff try out their products & share the skeptic's perspective with you!
 

November 26, 2014

Join The Horse Blog Community Gift Exchange & Take A Live Equine Blog Tour!

Sorry for that bit on the left, the interwebz made me do it... 

BUT -- Fun Holiday Things To Share

If you missed it on our Twit/FB inanity, Fly On Over is hosting the 2nd Annual Equestrian Blogger Gift Exchange (I will not hide my fury that I missed out last year) -- and your sign-up is due this Friday, Nov. 28th!!

http://flyonovereq.com/second-annual-gift-exchange/
DO IT NOW!
Not Only The Fun Of Gift-Giving But...MOAR PONEH PICTURES!

Ok, I'll confess, I do not quite know what a live blog tour is yet, but that didn't stop me from signing up!  If you have a blog to share or otherwise want to participate, the amazing Kristen from If The Saddle Fits has posted a signup in (a FB group that is growing rapidly) Blogging From The Barn.  You can also click the image for a direct link. 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1CWAHjyrq6oBQYyLbevHjnAbP5jciQJB_fbLvXCzmmlQ/viewform?c=0&w=1
She even makes it so pretty...
It could happen...
I've already discovered a couple of great new-to-me blogs, including the lovely, crisp design of Hand Gallop (warning: may scar your memories of My Little Ponies temporarily...) & this hilarious contribution from The Maggie Memoirs (who also gets mad props for eventing her painted Mustang/Arab, way to be part of the 'I refuse to be conventional' club, yeah!!!!).  Watch out, the latter may cause moisture to explode out of your face onto your keyboard.

November 16, 2014

All Farm Residents Are Actually Still Alive

We all gotta nom, man...
Well, unless you count a few deer, but they fed coyote puppies.  Even if you don’t like coyotes, if you don’t think puppies are adorable, you obviously have no soul.

But to the larger point, I’m sure there are thousands five of you (ok, four if you don’t count my mother) who have been scratching their heads because dry winter air makes your scalp itchy wondering “where did eventer79 go?”  I’m still here.  Mostly.

There is a robust collection of half-finished post drafts & more thoughts & intentions that I can shake a stick it.  Problem is, I’m too tired to pick up the stick.  Will you settle for an acorn cap?

So What's The Deal, Slacker?

I would put a very narrow confidence interval (fellow geeks, you’re welcome) around my certainty that many of you have found yourselves in times where the demands of life greatly exceed the ridiculously small number of hours astronomers give us each day (it’s easier to be annoyed at humans than an enormous star which will eventually massacre us all-seriously, click this, it's one of the awesomest infographics ever!).  Not to mention your own finite capacity to meet said demands with energy, planning, and production of deliverables.

One target: the Everglades Pygmy Sunfish
My Real Life Job is an extremely complex one, full of research plans, coordination between uncountable layers of government, non-profit, & private sectors who are not so good at that whole communication thing, reports, 60-hour weeks chasing 40-mm rare fish in swampy ditches (yeah, everyone thinks it’s all fun & games, I dare you to come out with us!) that require a four-hour commute, prioritizing which of a state’s natural resources are more important than others because we have neither bottomless coffers nor more than six staff members…holy crap, I’m getting tired just writing that…and I didn’t even get to the daily “putting out inbox fires” part…OMG, that's the longest sentence ever...

And they all have little red flags...
So Drink A Beer On The Farm, Right?

Obviously, there is plenty to keep a person busy & in normal circumstances, those magical 0.3 miles of farm driveway form a bridge to an oasis of recovery.  From the outside, it can certainly look that simple.  However, as most of us learn after a modicum of time in Adult World (aaaand here come the porn hits, thank you, Google), there is nothing the universe loves more than conspiring to see how many boulders, made of types of rock you didn’t even know existed, it can stack on your head before you sink.
 
My neck is tired.

I don’t put this forth as a whine-fest, though, I have a pretty narrow selection of cheeses I actually like.  Actually, the same goes for wine, but I did taste this amazing Japanese plum wine at a work conference this week…

FOCUS, WOMAN!

TL;DR:  eventer79 is simply exhausted, over-stressed, overwhelmed (NOT AT ALL contributed to by her complete lack of an over-commitment problem).  When your therapy is getting on your horse, but it takes everything in you to just hand food to said horse, matters get complicated.  We’re working on that.

For now, we try to hold on to small moments.  As years go by, you learn how truly precious, finite, & fragile these are.

Red Horses:  Ok

Aside from a minor balancing act to work out involving forever wussy front feet, Solo is bright & healthy & thanks to Minion Erica’s generosity & horsemanship, once again has the hocks of a 10-year-old.  Encore is healing from a small tear in his left gluteus muscle (only my dear Encore could sprain his ass…), which will take several months, but Dr. Bob says just keep him in half-work-intensity & he is improving.  I did tell David O. that I’m fairly certain this horse carefully plans so he is 100% fit & sound…when it’s cold & dark.

Scenery:  Freezing But Scenic

So I will leave you with this, a gift from the most beautiful fall I’ve seen since I moved to NC in 2005.  Who needs New England when my yard looks like this?

shadowfx01's Fall 2014 Slideshow album on Photobucket

Hug your horses, stay safe during fall hunting seasons, & to my fellow horsey blog friends, I’m still reading & following your wonderful journeys; please don’t take offense at my radio silence.  An erratic flight is still technically not a crash, don’t call NTSB yet!

October 23, 2014

Thursday Thoroughbred Eye Candy

For your viewing pleasure, with thanks to exquisite fall morning light.
(I have no idea why they look blurry in post on my browser, but when clicked on, are sharp.)

Horse Portraits 23 Oct 2014 012 (Small)
Eeeee, dapples!  Yep, poor Encore, just another scrawny OTTB, hee...

Horse Portraits 23 Oct 2014 009 (Small)
Probably scoping out sharp objects...

Horse Portraits 23 Oct 2014 015 (Small)
I haven't even been working out lately

Excuse me, you're not leaving out the sexiest team member of all??
Horse Portraits 23 Oct 2014 021 (Small)
Solo appears satisfied that camera has found the correct subject

I wouldn’t dare.  And half-Thoroughbred still counts!
Horse Portraits 23 Oct 2014 027 (Small)
My most beloved face