July 13, 2011

Brain Drool

Broken horses leave far too much time for thinking.

I pace the barn aisle restlessly, wondering what my options are. My crazy addiction to the pursuit of this sport is unrelenting, but like many others at the moment, my wounded partner cannot oblige my goals.

I hold desperately to the hope that he can come back for fall, although I have no guarantees that that will actually happen. If he does come back, then what? Can he actually make it to my goal of a Training 3-Day? I don't know. We will certainly try but it will not be easy for him. I kick myself for not knowing 5 years ago what I know now -- had I started this journey then, oh, how I might have defeated the enemy of time while my horse was a little bit younger.

I have to accept that my horse is probably limiting me. I know that I have the desire and the ability to achieve my goal and then some, but because my horse always comes first, I have to move at his pace. Which right now is practically zero.

In some fantasy world, the solution would be simple -- pick up a CANTER horse (heck, I've already got three picked out that I'd throw in a trailer today) and start bringing it along as The Next Horse. Problem: I could probably buy it, but I sure as heck can't board it as I'm pretty sure BO does not offer "two-for-the-price-of-one" sales. I only have enough quarters to keep Solo in housing and rice bran.

For some, this would probably be a quick solve -- sell Solo, buy prospect. But I can't do it. In so many ways that I cannot elucidate, the Orange Beast is uniquely in-disposable. I still remember the change when Mr. I Don't Really Trust People placed his faith in me at last and that is an agreement I cannot betray. I feel that I owe him a safe future. Not that this couldn't happen with someone else, maybe it could, but until I could guarantee that, I am not releasing him to the winds of fate. I guess that makes me a Rider Committed To Horse instead of a Rider Committed To Sport. Each has its tradeoffs, I suppose.

Which leaves me back at stuck. Anyone want to be an owner, I'll take your horse to 3-Day stardom, LOL?

Solo has taught me an immeasurable volume of lessons which I actually am SO excited to apply to another horse but I do not begrudge him one second of massages or handgrazing and I enjoy spending the time with him as he rests his nose on my knee. I generally don't ride much in July and August anyway -- it's just too damn hot for woman or beast, so in all honesty, we're not missing out on much as long as I can hold SOME condition on him.

Yes, those echoes you hear are just a brain spinning itself dizzy in hypotheticals and dead-ends. Keep a rider out of the saddle too long and she starts to go crazy(er).

34 comments:

  1. If you lived in Burlington, NC... I'd be the owner. Granite is big and talented and handsome and young! I work long hours to barely cover his expenses... Its not fair to have the horse with the potential and not the time to harvest it!

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  2. Dang, Rachel, you are not that far away from me!

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  3. Perhaps too far to commute in order to train an eventer. But if you ever need a (knock-on-wood) currently healthy and underworked catch-ride... I would seriously talk to you about Granite. email me if you'd like (rrhawley86@gmail.com)

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  4. Yeah, Burlington is about an hour, but one can never underestimate the desperation of the grounded, LOL! I will file your email and thank you for thinking of me!!

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  5. It IS tough when your partner is grounded and you want to move on. Only time will tell if you can reach your goal of a Training 3-day together, but it's great that you've made a commitment to him no matter what. And you know, even if that particular goal ends up out of reach, I'm sure you wouldn't trade what you've had with Solo for anything else... and that's the beauty of that special bond we have with our equine partners. :)

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  7. Rachel, if you are indeed in need of a catch rider, please feel free to contact me. I am tantalizingly close to your area and also happen to be hopelessly horseless, which makes me a catch-rider extraordinaire!

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  8. You are right, jenj, Solo and I have had a TON of crazy adventures, making him the most well rounded and well grounded horse I have ever sat on. You name it, I can ask him to do it.

    Y_E, leasing may be an option in the future but Solo is a tough one for that. He does NOT like other people to ride him -- he behaves, but he gets very tense and worried, he is very slow to trust and he still fears being hit so he protects himself. And he is still to tuned and strong for a true beginner. He definitely has a lot to teach people, but giving lessons on him is something he would not enjoy. And he is high maintenance! But for the right person, he is a treasure. So, although I won't have to consider it for a long time, it's filed way back there as a careful possiblity.

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  9. If you lived here, I have a fab event mare sitting in her pasture packing on the pounds while I rot.

    Fricking broken bones...

    It's never easy. Here's to hoping for a winning lottery ticket?

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  10. While I'm too far away for my offer of a barn full of eager future-eventers to do you any good, I'd really like to commend you on your commitment to your horse. I agree that full-out dedication to the sport sometimes means that we have to move on when the partner cannot keep pace with us, it's that damn partner that got us here in the first place, and who has made pursuit of the goals so rewarding. I completely commiserate with your situation, and take my hat off to your honoring of your obligation to Solo!

    Best of luck finding that perfect catch-ride circumstance!

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  11. Thanks, SB -- I think you have to play the lottery to win though! And I'm not very lucky these days. It would be fun to sit on the WonderMare, LOL!!!

    Thanks, Tricia -- I am definitely NOT giving up on Solo. He's a pretty amazing guy to me and I don't think our story is done. My brain just goes wandering off into the future when it's not busy planning the present. I am holding tightly onto hope that my boy will heal up and satisfy BOTH of our desires to be back leaping things!

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  12. Thank you for being a member of the Giant Saps Who Heart Their Ponies/Puppies/Kitties Uber Tons And Would Never Ever Get Rid Of Them No Matter What Club!! We may be poor in monetary terms, but we're filthy rich in muzzle nudges (and hopefully karma!)

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  13. Aw! That is so sweet!
    Would you be interested in a free lease (you pay board/feed)?

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  14. This Horse Life is soooo complicated. I have dreams and goals and face the same financial decisions. My horse has earned her right to a life time home... I wonder the same things...

    Hope you find your owner!

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  15. Hahah, Frizz, that makes a heck of an acronym!!

    Hey, Alana! Unfortunately, I can't -- if I could pay another board, I'd buy another horse in a heartbeat, but it's a no go. I can afford...an extra carrot every week?

    Suzanne, truer words were never spoken! I think all those breeders who say they want exposure for their young horses should just call us up, shouldn't they??

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  16. Drat. Bailey is available for free lease. While she may not be capable of a T3D (I dunno, she probably could with proper fitness and training, I just have no desire to go there) she is sound and healthy and blobby and looking for a rider who wants to actually DO things (other than cruise around the woods and fields)!
    Oh well! I think y'all would've been a cute pair, but I understand the lack of board money (one reason I am looking at leasing out Bails!).

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  17. Hey, if she learns to get a job and pay her keep, I'll be happy to take her on!

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  18. "I still remember the change when Mr. I Don't Really Trust People placed his faith in me at last and that is an agreement I cannot betray. I feel that I owe him a safe future."

    Amen

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  19. Man, you and I are in the same boat! I want to ride, compete, train, and event. Gogo can currently do none of the above and it's unlikely that she will really be able to do any of them at all in the near future, or ever at all. I want to get another horse... but.... man they are expensive. So.... I guess I'm stuck grounded too!

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  20. Aw, Andrea, I wish I could tell you some magical thing that would fix Gogo. It's so hard to take a deep breath and be pragmatic about it all.

    Barbara: :-)

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  21. I know this can be a tough road but I'm sure if Mr. Solo could talk he'd say a big ole' thank you!!

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  22. I think we're in the same boat...

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  23. Amanda, after the all money I've spent on his sorry orange ass, he BETTER say thank you!! ;-P

    Dom -- but at least you have REALLY hot shoes! ;-)

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  24. At least he will be sound again. Perhaps not to do everything you'd hoped, but it's better than having a dead lame horse forever. Always look on the bright side of life, right?

    (That always makes me think of Life of Brian. Got to love Monty Python!)

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  25. Yes, Kate, definitely! He is still sound enough to ride, if not leap over huge jumps, and with care, he should come back.

    And now, thank you for getting the image of singing guys on crosses stuck in my head, hilarious!

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  26. I remember when my brain went viral trying to determine if I had to get rid of my girl - UGH. Thankfully she healed and we're able to work (we'll never be at any type of competition level) together. Hang in there! I know a lot of us have been there.

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  27. And can I just add that I hate my ID name. It looks like I'm YOUR aunt Deb. lovely.

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  28. I somehow missed what is going on with Solo, but it sounds like it will work out soon. I hope you're healing well. :-)

    Have you thought of asking around at barns in your area and maybe putting an ad on Craigslist? Your trainer might know of something, too. Perhaps Dr. Bob and/or your farrier. If you get the word out, you never know what might develop. Also, online forums, such as The Chronicle of the Horse. Again, you never know what might happen if people start talking about someone needing a horse to ride. :-)

    I agree with all the comments on making a commitment to Solo. It's so nice to hear people doing things for the horse because they do so very much for us. :-)

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  29. LOL, AD, I didn't even know I HAD an Aunt Deb!!

    Thanks, Jo! Some projects have actually surfaced, I'll be feeling things out before I commit to anything but we have possibilities!

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  30. So glad to hear that! Heal up and stay cool. I lived in NC in the 80s and remember how hot and humid it can be.

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  31. I am at the same point as you and almost wrote this exact post last night on my blog. It's comforting to know that other people think and puzzle over the same things I do.

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  32. Wow, that is tough. Personally, I think Mr. ShinyPants is going to be just fine, and carry you to a triumphant appearance at a T3D. But if he can't... surely, someone will come along who recognizes your desire and ability and will let your ride his/her horse, if only to bring along for resale. You might not have the same (very special) relationship you have with Solo, but getting to work and ride something that's not broken would be a blast. Good luck!

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  33. Chelsea, you are definitely not alone!

    Thanks, RW, I hope so!

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  34. You are inspiring with your love and dedication to your animal not the sport. I would love for you to be taking Steady beyond the slow pace that I can take him. If only it wasn't for distance.

    Someone said to me this week at event camp that maybe Steady isn't the horse for me because of how difficult it is/will be to move him through the levels. "UM NO I am sorry but we are just fine thank you!" I am his and he is mine no matter how long and tedious the process.

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