February 11, 2012

Saudade: The Sadness That Is Full Of Laughter

The Portuguese word "saudade" has no direct English translation, but describes a deep longing and love for something that may never return.  It can describe a collection of memories, of cherished moments whose recollection brings joy and allows one to relive past triumphs.

The Armenians have the same word, with a different spelling, the combines the sadness of loss and the nostalgia for times past with laughter, laughter from the unbridled happiness these experiences bring to our lives.  It is called "mall" or "permallje" and it encapsulates a complexity of human emotion in a place where English fails.

This afternoon, I took a few pictures (in a very cold wind!!) of the Main Man with his 2011 Area II smurf awards, for they really are his, not mine.  Solaris, my partner, my soulmeet, the horse whose spark shot to life with the first glimpse of a start box and who showed me a pureness of joy in his gallop, a relishing of the very motion and speed itself, that I had never known before.  I'll never ask him to jump a 3' jump again, but we may yet have a few gallops to share.  And there really is one word that fits what I feel when I look at these pictures:

Saudade, my friend, joy for the journey and sorrow for its end.  Permallje, my mate, for the laughter in those memories and the ones we have yet to create.  You changed my life forever and there isn't a single day that your eyes don't touch my soul.  Thank you. 
I swear to cod, he is smirking...

17 comments:

  1. I believe you're right... that is, in fact, a smirk. He knew it all along!

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  2. Lovely words. I feel the same way whenever I look at my retired eventer.

    And yes, that is most definitely a smirk!

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  3. Words do fail in conveying the effects of loss, at least, English words do. "A love for something that may never return" is quite a poignant sentiment.

    Lovely post.

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  4. And what an adorable smirk it is, too!

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  5. What great pics!!! And very eloquent post.

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  6. Solo never fails to have an expression, that I have learned!

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  7. Hand in hand with your last post...

    We must treasure each day with our equine partners - there are no guarantees.

    Smirking - no doubt! Nice pix. :)

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  8. A few years ago when I was in school somebody made the comment, "I wish it was Friday." We had a Major in our class who responded, "don't wish your life away." Those words have always stuck with me and I've tried to live by them since then but it is hard sometimes. Being stuck over here I can't help but find myself occasionally, okay make that often, wishing that summer would hurry up and get here already. Between this and your last post you have reminded me to try and live in the moment as much as I can. I'm sorry that reminder seems to have come from your pain but thankful that you shared. I hope you find some relief soon.

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  9. That's beautiful and Solo looks very handsome in his smirk...and smurf.

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  10. That's beautiful and Solo looks very handsome in his smirk...and smurf.

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  12. What a beautiful tribute. Total smirk. The boy has a on a blue, and he knows it! He won! :)

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  13. Jane, somehow he always wins, the smirky beast! He is a very special horse.

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