Whether We Are Ready Or Not!

The night before a horse trial is always a tense one -- did I pack both girths? Is my armband where I think it is?  Did I remember to make a post-dressage snack for Encore?  Are both cameras charged?

Tomorrow's forecast in SoPines is clear and sunny, although windy and since the hosting farm is in the sandhills, footing should be nice -- although you always have to keep an eye on those pine needle patches, they can slip!  If I have any lucky at all, that sun will shine on Encore making his 2012 eventing debut.  He completed one horse trial last year at the Maiden level, so I'll start him at Beginner Novice this spring to build his confidence and begin to teach him the little routines of horse trial day.

But what will make or break our ride tomorrow won't be weather or footing or gear -- it will be whether I have the patience and calm to warm him up correctly.  The KEY is getting the horse supple.  You don't have to do x number of 20 metre circles or 5 perfect leg yields or a set number of gaits in each direction.  You need to produce a supple and attentive horse using whatever means are most effective to get him there. 

For Encore, this means bend, change the bend, bend back, counter bend, change bend again, leg yield on a spiral, bend again -- all the while my goal is to work him softer in the jaw and balanced beneath my seat.  If I can acheive that, then I will have succeeded. 

We'll be all over the warmup ring -- it's not about staying on the rail or using a common routine, it's about loosening and suppling my horse so he is round and on the aids when it is time for us to go in the ring.  It doesn't matter how we get there as long as we arrive.

I'll trot my horse down centerline at 10:43 am tomorrow and as we turn right to begin our test, everyone will know whether or not I've achieved my goal and that moment of truth will set the tone for the rest of our day.

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My Precious Is Wounded

It burnsss ussssss....

No, it's not the horse.  But I still love her.

It was a stupid stoplight thing.  We were sitting in line, the light turned green and the guy in front of me went go - NOSTOP and slammed on his brakes.  You just can't stop 7,000 lbs of truck in 1 second so we went bump.  Fortunately, the universe had a little pity and it was another 3/4 ton truck (damn Dodge didn't dodge!!).  I hate to think how long I would have been stuck there had we eaten the back end of a dang Civic, even at all of the 3 mph or so I was moving.

His truck sat a little higher than mine and had a 4-way hitch on it, so it was not damaged at all (whew!).  He looked a bit worried when he got out and saw I was a girl -- perhaps he feared histrionics?  But I was wearing my wildlife agency uniform jacket and I saw him look at that and appear relieved that I may not dissolve into tears and scream.  We ascertained that both parties were fine, we looked at my bumper, I said, "Meh, I don't care about dents, that's what BUMPers are for," we shook hands, we went about our business.

Actually, the only thought I had getting out of my truck was, OMG, PLEASE DON'T HAVE BENT MY SPECIAL SOLO PLATE!!!  But it was unscathed and I could breathe again.

The dents truly don't bother me, it's just the gaps on the side where the whole bumper is twisted down.  On the plus side, the Precious now does fit in as a true NC truck.  Eventually, I suppose I will go junkyard diving, we have a good one nearby, but it's hardly an essential part.  I crawled under when I got to work and nothing on the front end is bent, tranny cooler is fine, and all is well.

But next time you see the Flying Solo rig, it will just have a bit more...character.

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Time To Be Ready

The entries are sent in.  The checks are signed.  The Coggins papers are emailed to the appropriate people.  After a single outing at Maiden last fall (during which he thought the XC course was the best present he'd ever gotten in his life), Encore will make his spring debut at Beginner Novice in February and again in March.

I am very tempted to bump him up to Novice in March.  I have taken an informal poll among fellow horse people.  David says if he goes perfectly in February and it's all easy, go for it.  My friend, and my gut, say give him two BN's to build his confidence.

The February event (in two weeks!!!) is at a gorgeous farm in Vass where we school XC regularly, so I know the facility and I know the jumps.  I have not seen the stadium jumps but am well at home in the XC field.  I have no concerns whatsoever.  Dressage may be a bit messy, but I don't care -- I'm there for the horsey mileage and the sooner we can kiss BN goodbye, the better!

But it's complicated.  

Solo competing at CHP at Novice in 2010.  Photo by Pics of You.

Because the March event is at the Carolina Horse Park (CHP), my favourite place to event, but traditionally the courses are maxed out on XC -- that is the jumps are at the maximum heights and sometimes widths for the level.  The show jumping courses are designed to be ridden forward and confident and usually have at least one funky turn.  There is a new XC course designer for the lower levels this year (sniff, I LOVED Jeff Kibbie's courses), so I'm not sure what their approach will be.  Regardless, I hesitate to use this as a move up event as Encore has never been to CHP before and it is big, professional, and the last thing I want to do is overface him.  I want him to believe he is invincible.

So the likely plan is that he will remain entered in the Open Beginner Novice in March (it just doesn't feel sportsmanlike to enter Beginner Novice Rider when I have ridden at Training level, even if I didn't complete the event) and I will move him up to Novice at my very favourite event, Longleaf Pines Horse Trial, also at CHP, in April.

Of course, because I have long since learned my plans are made only to be derailed, I am not telling Encore any of this and I am confident something insane will happen between now and then.

Do you have big spring plans?  Training goals you are shooting for?  Trail mileage you want to rack up?  Dust you want to knock off?  Do share!  I am tired of sad, I WANT HAPPY!

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Saudade: The Sadness That Is Full Of Laughter

The Portuguese word "saudade" has no direct English translation, but describes a deep longing and love for something that may never return.  It can describe a collection of memories, of cherished moments whose recollection brings joy and allows one to relive past triumphs.

The Armenians have the same word, with a different spelling, the combines the sadness of loss and the nostalgia for times past with laughter, laughter from the unbridled happiness these experiences bring to our lives.  It is called "mall" or "permallje" and it encapsulates a complexity of human emotion in a place where English fails.

This afternoon, I took a few pictures (in a very cold wind!!) of the Main Man with his 2011 Area II smurf awards, for they really are his, not mine.  Solaris, my partner, my soulmeet, the horse whose spark shot to life with the first glimpse of a start box and who showed me a pureness of joy in his gallop, a relishing of the very motion and speed itself, that I had never known before.  I'll never ask him to jump a 3' jump again, but we may yet have a few gallops to share.  And there really is one word that fits what I feel when I look at these pictures:

Saudade, my friend, joy for the journey and sorrow for its end.  Permallje, my mate, for the laughter in those memories and the ones we have yet to create.  You changed my life forever and there isn't a single day that your eyes don't touch my soul.  Thank you. 

I swear to cod, he is smirking...

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No Day But Today

I'm going to steal that from Johnathan Larson, because there is no better way to put that apt truth.

I know I have hinted, but not explained but some things I just feel are not appropriate or relevant to this blog.  But there are a lot of very bad things going on in my life right now, affecting people that I love very much, and they are things that are impossible for anyone to deal with.  (The horses are fine and I am no more injured than I was a year ago)  I pour everything I have into Encore and Solo, physically and emotionally because right now, that is the only way I can cope.  It is true that, when you boil it down, life is surviving one thing after another, until the thing that kills you.

However, the reason I am writing this sobering post is to tell you with deadly seriousness, from where I am sitting right now, today is all you get.

It's a philosophy I have always lived by, but now it has become very VERY real to me.  In one whispered word, one simple moment, your future, your plans, your hope, anything, can be taken away from you in ways that you never even thought of.  It's like carrying a tray full of promise and then, with no explanation, your hands suddenly stop working and the tray falls to the floor, shattering into a thousand shards of loss.

In no way am I saying that you should live in fear -- nothing lasts forever, we know everything has its end, but we should not dwell in terror of the end.  I am not trying to depress you or worry you.  Rather, I am saying, reminding, relish your today.  And if you have an opportunity, take it.  Because tomorrow, next week, next month, four hours from now, your world can tilt on its axis and change everything.

People often tell me that I am crazy because I'm broke, but I have two horses and I compete (which would not be possible without the help of my amazing mother).  They tell me I should save my money, be more prudent, just wait until later.

But I am taking my opportunity now.  There is one thing, one passion that I know fulfills me and that I want to pursue more than anything.  And I am going to do it every second I have the chance to, to the limit of my abilities.  Because that opportunity may not exist next month or next year or in ten years, for physical reasons, for more reasons I can't dream up.  That's why, even when I have a not-so-great ride, I still untack my horse, pat his face, feed him a treat, and treasure his warm presence that day.

When I took Solo to his first event clinic 3 or 4 years ago, my SO was with us and snapping his usual 500 pictures a day.  I turned to him and said, "You know, you don't really have to take pictures of us just walking around."  A woman I didn't know was riding nearby and she turned to me and said, "You never know which ride is your last one."

Those words hit me like a brick and have stuck with me every time I get on my horse, and recent events have reminded me with crashing force that you can lose your plans in an instant that you never saw coming.  All I am saying is....

Treasure your today with everything you have in you.  Even if it's not the perfect ride you wanted or the score was lower than you shot for or you didn't jump as high as you wanted or even if it is a non-horsey thing....treasure the moments with your partner and treasure the time you spent doing what you love.  Time is yours to waste or use.  Never put that opportunity on a shelf for later, it is yours to make it happen now.

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