It is hard when great joy and soul-wrenching grief co-exist in your heart. On one hand, a person I love deeply is gravely ill and it will be some time before a resolution is reached or even in view. I am a fixer; I like to repair people, problems, jump standards...but here, there is nothing I can do. I am helpless to fix what is so much bigger than either of us. I can wish that I was a doctor, or perhaps even better, a wizard, so I could wave a wand, cast a spell, and dismiss the dark cloud overhead. As it is, the only things I can do are love deeply every single day, treasure each shared word and rare moment, and give all the emotional and moral support I have in me plus a little bit more. But that love and support never falters nor wavers, even though I cannot be as close as I would, given my choice.
One day at a time has become my mantra.
At the same time, in the same emotional space, there is great joy for the unexpected gift that a young horse brings to the same battered heart. He cannot take the pain away, but what he does offer me is a bright spot in each day, a kind face that always makes me smile, that I can lose myself in for a period of time in the evenings, a balm for the open wounds and a therapy for a mind in turmoil.
Each one abates the other, in small pieces.
Yes, in a roundabout way, you are getting your event report.
It was a gift of a weekend when I towed that bright-eyed young thing into the organized chaos of the Carolina Horse Park on a Trial weekend. Warm, blue, with perfect sandhills footing, the stage was set and we were even lucky enough to have the Amazing Mum with us to capture pictures and help with the endless tasks of shifting things about that events inevitably involve. Some say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll let them tell the story instead.
 |
| Please feel free to admire and comment on my cuteness at any time, thank you. |
 |
| Quiiiit, I'm not a stinking barbie! |
 |
| I is workin' on my mohawk. Check it. |
 |
| Correct leads! Both ways! No starting gate leap! |
 |
| All 10's, right??! Look how cute I was!! |
|
He was actually quite obedient. If he didn't have a rider handicap of an oaf hanging on the right rein who would instead just let him flow through the bridle, he would have done very well indeed. There were some lovely trot moments across the diagonal and his rider is slowwwwly learning to sit up straight. All in all, a quite respectable 38.6, not bad for his first recognized show where I ran out of time in warm up and didn't even get to canter.
Encore, of course, thought he was done after what he felt was a brilliant performance. To say he was surprised when the jumping saddle went on is an understatement. So his ears were swiveling twelve ways at once when we got to warm up, leaving me concerned that he would be a bit wild over the jumps.
 |
| Arrrrrrggh! I am ready to jump sweet jumps!!! |
 |
| Er...your jumps do not impress me. |
 |
| Meh. |
 |
| Whatevs. |
 |
| Ok, fine, I suppose I'll put some effort into it. |
Then it was time to breach the ingate and start the show. The first 2/3 of the course were like a dream. I kept the rhythm, I re-balanced him, I softened my hand and closed my leg in front of the jump, letting him find each jump and arc over it perfectly.
It didn't last. You see, they had opened the course for walking while I was doing my dressage test. I hopped straight off when I finished and went into walk my stadium course. I knew the course in my head and I had walked up to jump 7 when they kicked me out of the ring to put it back in play. It became our epic fail.
I watched the riders before me, but apparently not closely enough. Jumps 6 and 7 were a line down the far wall, then you made a sweeping rollback to 8. I missed the turn. My eyes frantically searched for the numbers and found it, but we had already passed our line. I sat back and did a desperate, frantic detour and Encore gamely dug in and we found our way back to the jump. Flustered, I lost my focus, and we pulled rails at both 9 and 10 and our detour cost us 8 time penalites as well. But the fault was entirely mine and I still patted Encore for a job well and bravely done.
 |
| But can you ask for better engagement than that? As I apparently attempt to climb to his ears? |
It was time to pack up and go. We had a sleepover date for the night at a friend's farm. Who also owns the cutest pony you have ever seen. But you'll have to wait for the next post to see the evidence.
