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We Are Flying Solo

December 10, 2013


I miss my boys.  They haven't gone anywhere.  But between work and selling and building and maintaining and trying to be everything else, I've been elsewhere. 

The dark, the cold, the rain, they've gotten to me more than usual this year, thanks to the extra stress.  I end each workday utterly exhausted and when I can get to the farm, usually the most I can muster is hoof picking, blanket switching, and some treats.

I miss the quiet brush of bristles on hair, as a soft muzzle turns and gently touches my hip to say, "I'm here."

I miss the settling sound as I place the saddle on a blanketed back.

I miss the unmistakable jingle of girth buckles and the blunt meeting of teeth and bit.

I miss swinging my leg into place and knowing I am home, on a strong red horse who doesn't care what we do as long as it's something.

I miss the way working with the horse allows me to be focused, calm, and conscious of every part of my body in a way that escapes me everywhere else.

I miss structuring an exercise or a ride to guide the horse towards the correct answer and those first steps when he finds it.  Then connecting those steps to build a path towards a goal.

I miss that swinging walk on a loose rein when we can both just be.  Where I listen to the four-beat rhythm that matches my heart and we breathe in the evening together.

I am aching to return to that place and its melody of familiar notes.  In two weeks, the solstice will mark the beginning of the end of short, dark days and offer the first hints of brighter days ahead.  And none too soon, because by the end of January, I have usually run out of patience for endless grey and am more than willing to trade my soul for a leaf bud.

But that's not the most important part.  No, it's hoofbeats and the creak of leather and even the frosty cloud of air puffed from cold nostrils that I'd trade for now.  If I can just peek under the right rock, one of them, I'm sure, is hiding that train ticket back to where I belong...     


  1. I LOVE the new site! It's gorgeous, and makes me want to renovate my own site. And living a few hundred miles north of you, yeah I am totally tired of the grey, the wet, the cold. Bring on warm weather and a return to EVENTING! For those of us who can't afford to go south anyway.

  2. hang in will fly by soon with the approach of the holidays and soon the shorter days.

  3. What a great post! I'm new to your blog, but this is such an accurate way to describe why we equestrians love what we do....granted, winning those blues is awesome in its own way, but I'm much more a fan of the little things you mentioned here. Great job! :)

  4. Thanks, everyone!

    And EAM, thanks for the kind design compliment! Still working on it.

    This far south sure wouldn't cut it, it's dark and cold and wet here too. I think you'd have to go all the way to FL. I've never liked FL anyway, so bring on the hot chocolate!

    Jenn, welcome!! And you are right, anyone who is truly a horseperson treasures the little moments the most.

  5. Chin up! Just a week to the solstice, then it all turns around. Pony hugs help! :D

  6. Are you TRYING to make me cry?? Just think about us poor slobs who don't even have a horse... :-(

    I'm just kidding, I actually loved reading your description of all the things we miss when we're not riding equines. The boys are not officially at FSF yet, are they? Do you have a move-in date yet? I know you said your new neighbor has a nice arena you can use, so you can look forward to that, too! (I don't think they have an indoor which would really be luxury

  7. Awwwwe. No, no crying! Nope, we don't get to move yet. Have to wait for shelter to be built. Can't come soon enough for me!

  8. Beautiful and poetic. Hang in there, the dark days will be gone soon and all those things you miss so much will return in spades!

  9. Thanks Jen! I'm counting down for daylight!!