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We Are Flying Solo

May 31, 2014

Farm Ownership = Endless Discoveries

To those who follow us on social media, these little “surprises” may sound familiar.  For the rest of you slackers wonderful people, here lies the confession that I really have abandoned the last shred of my dignity:  I made a hashtag in Twitland.  *so much shame*  I had such noble oaths (once the little pound signs were explained to me) that I would never become one of Those People.  At least it wasn’t a big fall.  Does it make it any better if searching for my own hashtag only finds two of them – even the internet is embarrassed for me…

Yes, I even make stupid faces while driving tractors
After I began living at the farm, though, it didn’t take long for these little moments unique to home horse-keeping to pop up.  Even those which elicited “not-family-friendly” exclamations made me laugh knowing that I was not likely the first (nor the last) to have the experience (with no small bit of incredulity, as in “was I really that stupid again!?).  What choice did I have, really, for sharing on the go?  (justification!)  And so the tag was born.      

For my pasture-mowing peers, both newly-minted and counting-the-decades, I know you KNOW.  I think we can all learn something (in most cases, “Don’t do that.”).

I present for your entertainment (and as a gift, corrected for the horrific grammar that is cruelly forced on me by that 120 character limit):

But...teh pretteh...can't go inside
  • Yay! When you forget to take off your half chaps & spurs, you just leave them at back door for next time!
  • Doh! My self-draining hose setup DOES work. And can siphon 1/2 the tank before I notice if I forget to remove the hose.
  • 0.o  That "simple" project in your head that you can "quickly" cobble together?  Just don't.
  • Oops. Put on work uniform fleece AFTER throwing am hay.
  • Yay! Your horses always appear at the gate when you come out the back door-it might be feeding time!
Wear real shoes to kick
  • Oh, hai, neighbour’s excavator driving past my living room!
  • Oops. Right when you think you’re a tractor badass, you get the drag caught on your tape fence.  :/
  • A good hose quick-connect is THE SHIT.
  • You never go inside on a pretty night. "Just one more thing!"
  • Never say "They won't go anywhere, they'll just eat grass."  :/
  • You can hike a 3-acre pasture in slippers.  In the dark.
  • Once you start pulling dead plants from along a fenceline, you can't stop.  So...hungry...

Low:  You DO need it!
  • That moment you realize you don’t even have to put on pants to feed. Note:  did not practice. But i could.
  • You never knew how much you needed the tractor...till it was gone.
  • You are late for work...because you get stuck staring out your windows at the awesome.
  • You can't kick a 3-pt hitch very hard in flip flops.
  • Oh, that’s what low gear is for!
  • Feeling shitty? Move your chair.
  • Going to a clinic and I don’t even have to start the truck! #greatneighbors
  • You're not really bush-hogging ‘til you bend a fencepost with the loader. #Fml
A good chair view = therapy
Share what you've screwed up discovered – maybe I can avoid a future *facepalm* or two, my head is getting sore! 


  1. Don't re-stain the pasture fence while your horses are in said pasture. Especially if they have white blazes :)

    1. Ohhhh, good one, HP! Fortunately all my fences are wire and tape, but someone who shall remain nameless scratches himself on the posts so hard he rips his skin off! :/

    2. I have a few:
      "when cleaning and refilling the water trough do not forget where your behind is in relation to the electric tape"

      "you have ball caps for on-the-farm and off-the-farm"
      "an old horse can be faster than you expect when a gate is open"

      'it is completely possible to wind up a border collie in a hose'

    3. Still laughing picturing border collie in hose -- better than a cat with a bag on its head?? Nice ones and oh, I hate it when the tape jumps out at you!!

  2. otterbox will not protect an iPhone from a tractor tire #farmownerdiscoveries

    1. Ouuuch! I bet there were some, erm, 'colourful metaphors' involved in that incident. If it makes you feel any better, my awesome grabby thing find from the Dollar Tree for picking up trash without getting off the tractor...I dropped it and ran over it in less than 12 hours. It still works though! :/ #tractortirecasualties

  3. Sure didn't take ya long to descend into pantsless barefoot debauchery, now, did it? ;-D

    1. Whoa, full stop at the debauchery!! LOL! Although I have always wanted to learn banjo, my old boss is the Banjo Master, he used to play in his office, it was neat!