Fun With Power Tools: How Poor People Build Jumps, Lesson 1

Hey, #mindyourmelon, right?

Want to build your own portable flower box for $5 in under 30 minutes?

Didn't think so, m'kay, bye!  ;P

Now that I have your attention and slavering hope that there might be a useful post ahead -- those of you who follow us on Teh Facebooks and Twitland saw the exciting results of my spurt of inspiration (thanks, Erica!) on Friday.

A better description for this project may be "why dumpster diving pays off," but who doesn't love working out some aggression with a Skilsaw anyway??  LET'S GET READY TO...REDNECK SOME SHIT!  (Note: I must include thanks, growing up with a genius mechanical engineer dad who just about rebuilt our entire house taught me many useful skills!)

Preface from the Safety Nazi:  Dude.  Tools are awesome, but don't mess around.  Wear your safety glasses, close-toed shoes, ear protection when necessary, and pay attention.  Horsewomen (don't feel left out, boys) are badasses, but the good kind work smarter, not harder.  You can do anything you set your mind to, but make sure you have been properly instructed, know your equipment, and always plan ahead. 

What I Used (but there are lots of options I'll try to cover)

Photobombing level.

Tools:

• Skilsaw (optional)
• Drill loaded w/ drill bit (optional)
• Impact Driver loaded w/ screwdriver bit (my new love plus I hate changing bits -- that goes for horses and drills ha, but also optional & you can use a screwdriver bit in your drill or a hand screwdriver)
• Measuring Tape (optional) 
• Pencil (or Sharpie, crayon, paint pen of your choice, optional, feeling easy yet?)
• Wood Screws (w/ good sharp ones you don't HAVE to drill anything)

Lumber:  (2) 2" x 4" scraps (dimensions optional)
              (1) 1" x 6" scrap (dimensions optional)

Other Materials:  Yer flowerz & a camera so you can share your masterpiece.  And a phone in case you have to dial 911.  Hey, "proactive, not reactive" doesn't just apply to riding.

Dang.  Click to read labels.

Step 1:  Get your shit together (don't worry, not mentally, I'd never try that dangerous task!).

I dug my three pieces of wood out of my scrap lumber pile (collected from house construction dumpster; I didn't use a level, it was just in the bag).  They were all around 26" (I didn't care, just wanted it small enough to move easily), I just cut the end off one to match the shorter one (optional).  One also has a diagonal cut on end.  Don't care. 

In the photo above, the yellow box is drill bits and the cardboard box is leftover screws from my HorseGuard fence insulators.  Real pencils work better than mechanical pencils for wood, but I was too lazy to walk to house.  The drill & driver came as a set when my trusty Black & Decker finally died after over 10 years of very hard work in 2013.  Since I had to replace it and was moving to the farm, I made the switch last year to lithium batteries.  Worth. It.  As I learned from my dad, buy a good tool and you only have to buy it once.  And these really are a phenomenal deal if you do your own work, I use them every single day.  I didn't even know what an impact driver was but it came with the drill...and now I don't know how I ever lived without it.  Never strip a screw again!

Step 2:  (sorry, forgot a picture)  Lay your 1x6 flat on the ground.  Set your 2x4's where you want them on top (now your box should be assembled upside down).  Mark the inside edges of the 2x4's with a pencil on your 1x6.  Now you have an area on each side of your 1x6 to drill pilot holes so you don't end up shooting them through the edges of your 2x4's (ah, experience...)

Step 3:  Uh-oh, I spy a slight problem (aside from crappy phone camera depth of field fail).  My screws will be a bit short for a secure grip on the 2x4's.  I am too lazy to walk to the house (errr, theme...) to dig through scrap hardware box.  Solution:  I will drill pilot holes with appropriate sized bit for screw (you want to choose one just a tiny bit smaller than your screw diameter [I very scientifically hold them next to each other and eyeball it] so the screw can still bite into the wood).  Then I will use a larger drill bit to countersink the screws so I can drive them deeper without totally splitting my 1x6 to bits.

Sounds complicated.  Not.  In the drill bit picture, I used the 2nd bit from the right to drill the pilot holes through the 1x6.  Note:  I ONLY drilled through the 1x6, with it sitting on the grass because (1) I'm an idiot and would totally drill through my stall mats and (2) I don't want to drill into the 2x4 because I want the screw to have its best grip there. 

Then, I loaded fatty bit (seen in drill, I think it's 1/4") and on the top side of the pilot holes, drilled a larger opening just as deep as the head of the screw so the top of the screw will be flush with or slightly below the surface of the wood.  Now the screw will reach farther into my 2x4.  Woot!

Step 3:  My holes are drilled in my 1x6 so I line it up on top of my 2x4's and install screws.  Tips:  (1) Put a foot, weight, or a knee on the assembled box so it doesn't move during drilling.  (2) I put in corner screws first so they will hold the boards aligned so the rest of the screws are easy.  (3) This is where the impact driver is handy-the screws will be tougher to turn when they hit the 2x4 but the driver just laughs and does its thing.  (4)  I used 4 screws on each side.  3 would have been plenty.  I have a problem with over-engineering.  Because I am now kicking myself for not running a bead of wood glue in each seam before the screws.  Since plastic flowers are SO HEAVY.

WTF level??!

Step 4:  Woohoo!  You have a nice little box, as shown (you can see the diagonal end on one 2x4, I just left it, not important).  I was totally going to just eyeball the holes for the flowers, but I decided it would bug me later when they weren't centered, heh.  I had 5 stems (that's my $5 project cost, since I had everything else) so I just measured and marked where each hole would go, starting with the center and working out.  Naturally, I discovered diameter of stems was larger than diameter of chosen drill bit (*facepalm* of course, but I wanted to be conservative so stems wouldn't blow out).  Went up one bit size, all good.

Finit!!  Arrange, enjoy, and be creative!

You can now stain it, paint it, add more flowers, add more holes, use the sides, plaster with stickers, dance around it giggling at your awesomeness (hey, it's the little achievements), or...

Just Jump It!!!

Read More

Mow, Mow, Mow Your...Oats?

Waaaah - it's 75 and we want our shed!  Spoiled babies!

Before I turn the key to spend the next 47 hours bush-hogging (I missed you, traaac-tor, oh yes I did, I missed you, traaac-tor, weeds must be rid...eh, use your grammar imagination), I wanted to, well, tease you.  Hee.

Coming soon to a blog near you!

(1) Yes, there is a wrap-up to the Heart of the Carolinas awesome at Southern Eighths.  I am continually expected to actually work for my paycheck (wtf?) and it cuts into my photo processing time. 

(2) Beloved foster tractor has returned from the spa refreshed and better than ever!  Interested in tips for your bush(hog) baby?

(3) FREE STUFF!  If you are lucky enough to win, that is.  It's big, it's new, and you'll wonder how your life was ever complete without it.

(4) TFS' own variation on the "blog hop."  You'll want to get in on this one! 

Now that you're on the edge of your chair/couch/bed/saddle (neck strap!), I'll be off.  *insert heartless snicker followed by wave of guilt*  I do issue my repetitive apologies once again for my intermittent blog failure.  We are all busy, naturally, and my own problem is complicated by the fact that I am haunted by the thought of posting something "not good enough."  As a result, most entries are the result of several hours of work, which leads to the gaps you see here.

Yesterday's mowing....I have a XC course, er, jump!

To my fellow bloggers, I AM visiting and reading with delight/sympathy/excitement/fascination as you share your parallel journeys.  Even though I rarely have time to comment, please know that I have not descended into neglect of my dear friends o' the blog-o-sphere!

Time to wake the diesel and flush out the bunnies...

Read More

I Never Really Wanted A Farm

Delima & I survey Snowy River country in Victoria, Australia

Whaaa...?!?

I have spent the majority of my life in and around all manner of farms, from California to Arizona to Kentucky to Australia to Wisconsin to Ecuador (ahhh, I need to finish that series!) to the Southeast, from the dirt lot behind a house to managing a neighbour's private barn to closing sliding doors that cost more than my truck.  My manure fork dug out pee spots in old clay-based stalls in the '90s and I stacked frozen water buckets in the heated viewing room during turnout and I dragged full muck buckets in a sled over 8" of snow and ice to the pile...uphill. 

Sure, I could strip a stall and return it to pristine condition in less than 15 minutes and I learned how to leave a hose so it always drained itself and I found out where you should NEVER put your gate/trough/shelter/riding area/feed and I even learned how to manage your chores so you had plenty of ride time.  But I also learned that being responsible for the maintenance of your horses' living quarters was more hard work than even some of the most experienced boarders could imagine.

Invasive flathead catfish, bad!!  They be eatin' our natives!

Board It Is!

We all know that the perfect boarding facility is as tangible (and accessible to us mere mortals) as the Jabberwocky; if you don't own it, compromises are required, but with research and experience you can generally find something that's a good fit for you and your partner(s).  In fact, SprinklerBandit recently did an excellent job discussing "How to be a Happy Boarder"!

If you've read this blog for a while, you know that I work full time and then some as a freshwater wildlife biologist, which means I travel weekly from April to November, my schedule changes every hour during field season based on weather, I'm a crabby cat lady who guards her personal space like a troll (hee), and oh yeah, I work for the state.  When you combine incredibly poor career choices ('follow your dreams', they said, haha, ok, I'm partly kidding, I couldn't do anything else, it's my passion) that produce tiny paychecks for long work-weeks with the amazing insane financial priorities of a horse owner, well, it's easy to see why farm ownership was never on my "want" list.

It All Falls Apart

 But three years ago, everything changed.  2011 began a rather spectacular series of "events," a word which doesn't even approach adequacy, that culminated in my own personal nadir (thank you, Mrs. Bricking - my equally terrifying & incredible high school English teacher for two years - I never thought I'd get to use that one in conversation) when my entire future disappeared in a single sentence in early November of 2012.  That's another story for another day.

Skipping a few details, the spring of 2013 found me blundering about the metaphorical woods for a new path forward.  Or any direction really, as long as it was away from the bottom of the hole.  Enter (after exhaustive mathematical exercises) a fateful ride on a mule (the kind with wheels) at the height of a beautiful Carolina spring and the rest is in the record books.

I write Twits...the apocalypse must be nigh!

Mission:  Reboot

The most surprising part?  Once we settled in, I have loved every. single. moment.  Always skeptical of those goofy "backyard horse ladies" on COTH and the dubious claims that they would never board again, I've had to eat all my doubts now that I stand in their shoes muck boots.  I have less time to write rambling masterful blog posts, so those who follow us on Facebook and, to my everlasting shame, Twitter, have noticed that I am beginning to rely on their forced brevity and immediacy for updates (those who don't, you are clicking "follow" or our sidebar buttons now, right???).  And I am so grateful that I am an uncompromising planner and I held out, because I would NOT want to try to do this on a property I did not lay out for maximum efficiency.  That's another story too!

I still have a long way to go, both in terms of healing and of the "30-year farm plan," and I don't think I can afford diesel until 2019, but it's all a little easier when I dissolve into giggles watching the horses gallop for the sheer joy of it in their own game of "Let's Pretend We're Terrified Of The Mower So We Can Squeal And Run."  Note:  don't forget to glance in front of your mower periodically to see if you are about to drive into a ditch.  Just sayin'...

Read More

I'm Not Dead!

Or at least I don't think so?  I want to go for a walk!  *insert gong here*


Perhaps the whack in the head would be simpler...  But before that, despite brain overload and resulting AWOL status, I can throw distracting shiny pictures at you!!

The sun gets tucked in for bed over the driveway

Farm life, as my peers know, holds never a dull moment; just this morning it was CSI Wildlife in the front pasture while I investigated last night's very odd doe-icide with all the fascination of a curious biologist.  With nothing left at the scene of the crime but a tail, two ribs sucked dry of marrow and a pile of intestines, this experienced predator profiler was interested indeed -- I love having predators around, they are so vital to the ecosystem and there are so few of them left to do the work, but each species leaves its own calling card with the remains and this one fell outside the lines.  But that's another story for another day!

Off the floor, YESSSS!

Despite the unexpected, I love it all.  Too much, in fact, it pains me to have to leave when there are so many fun projects!  And, true to the horse person nature, the house itself sits in chaos, boxes covering the floors, still holding their forlorn contents.  The feed shed however, finally got its own shelves and I spent a good 45 minutes organizing and finding a place for ALL THE THINGZ.  I love interior decorating...when it involves hay string and blanket bags!

I took this Monday off to make a four-day weekend, filling my planner pages with overly-ambitious lists.  Only I forgot to include "exhaustion recovery" in there.  But every tidbit I cross off is insanely satisfying.  Although naturally, since the tractor remains in the spa for its freshen-up, the mower has decided it would rather not use its blades either.  No bush-hog, no lawn mower (although I've been poking at it and I feel close to figuring it out), plenty of spring rain and 10 acres of lush grass...and all I can do is pick at it with my electric string trimmer until the batteries need recharging (I wrestle with enough two-cycle engines at work, HATE).  Yep, it looks just as hilarious as your mental picture!  Hey, I love my trimmer!!

We have progress though --

That run-in that started (9 Jan) with my stunning foundation skillz?

By Feb 2nd, it was sheltering some...things for me (why do farms make us instant hoarders?)

By March 21st, it was a fully tricked-out facility -- don't show these to too many folks, I know I'll have 4* riders beating down my door for space any minute!

Dang, I should raise board!!

New, windproof small court dressage arena

In addition, thanks to my horses' morbid fear of all things resembling white tape, I was able to close the end of the top field with the Dollar Store version (don't tell them it's not even hot -- and not even close to the quality of my wonderful Horseguard) and the boys are getting their spring shine on, frolicking in long gallops across 3 acres of grass, grass, GRASS!

Can't complain about the kitchen window view

Encore:  Dude, have you been polishing your ass??

But I think we're all about ready for a very long nap...can someone call my boss and let him know?

Read More

Notes From The Madhouse

Be forewarned:  an unbelievably horrific three day long work assault meeting has left many brains crippled, so sense is not to be expected in any of the following statements.  And I hope CHP doesn't mind me borrowing a couple of their awesome graphics!

Dancing Dining With The Stars
TFS will be packing up and heading south this evening to participate in the long-awaited and tantalizingly star-studded Carolina International CIC*** and Horse Trial entrance onto the world stage!  Not only is it a qualifier for the 2014 Adequan Gold Cup series, but it brings a spotlight to our very favourite competition grounds, the Carolina Horse Park, about which I've written so many times.

Bruce Sr., Torrence Watkins, J. Michael Plumb, Karen Stives, and The Wofford

Alongside BFF and Solo's (hopeful) new minion (oh, what should her nickname be???  Blog Stalker?  No, that sounds too negative, although I love blog stalkers -- She Who Longes Children?  LOL), I'll just call her Erica, for goodness sake, we shall oogle and analyze the FEI*, **, and *** XC riders as jump judges.  If you haven't checked out the entry list already, well, what, do you live under a rock????!  Becky Holder Event Team, Colleen Rutledge, Kate Chadderton, Jan Byyny (currently sitting in first place after a lovely dressage test -- follow the link for video), our Carolina Will's, Faudree and Coleman, our new 'neighbour', Doug Payne, along with Arthur and Tate and Shiraz and Teddy and Wundermaske and William Penn and Pirate and Catch A Star and...dinner with the 1984 Gold Medal LA Olympic Team (Jimmy Wofford, Bruce Davidson, Karen Stives, Michael Plumb, and Torrance Watkins)!!! *fangirl implosion* And many many more eventing friends and 'family' that, well, we are hoping will wander by our chair on their coursewalks, because frankly, judging 300+ horses, I can tell you from experience, doesn't leave a lot of time for social calls.

(left) Can't Fire Me (Teddy) watches as Courageous Comet gives Dad a lesson at the winter farm in 2013; I bet I won't catch Teddy lying down on Saturday!

Related Online Crap
To the best of our ability, TFS will be live-tweeting (oh my cod, I'm so embarrassed I just typed that) from the event tomorrow, so you probably want to go ahead and follow us now so you don't miss out on the unmatched randomness and hilarious dorkiness that is our trademark!  Oh yeah, and The Becky Stalking.  I've also started a series of sometimes exciting, sometimes ironic, always entertaining #farmownerdiscoveries, as those of you who follow us on Facebook have probably discovered.  Like/follow/click/tap (take your pick from our media shortcuts in the sidebar) and join the insanity!  

Flying Solo Farm Stage:  Implementation
Crossties are up and fence tape is charged and mats are down and feed is stored and neighbours are supplied with excessive amounts of emergency contact information.  The door, my friends, at long last, is not only open, but strewn with bits of hay and mud and cat hair.  In addition, speaking of cats, one of them puked on the carpet recently, so I guess it's definitely home now. 

Blogger Mental Health & Plans For The Spring Season
The former is long lost.  The latter:  try not to starve, dream of times when you could purchase diesel, fatten up orange bellies after move stress shrinkage, remember how to ride a horse, learn our new trails, annoy visit with new neighbours...

And above all else, drink in the moonrise over MY east line of oak trees while a grey fox yips, at least four species of frogs sing across the pond, a great-horned owl greets the stars, and a brown bat makes adorable swoops after the first tiny insects of the year.  Through the bone-deep fatigue, those long-missed melodies are indeed balm for a great many things. 

Sunset over our creek pasture

Read More

I Rode A Horse...Or Two!!

We don't work no more!

It's true, don't believe the rumours -- I sort of remembered how to ride and I didn't fall off!  And it was sunny!!

The horses were caught quite off guard, having come to consider me merely as She Who Bringeth Foods.  So when I put Solo in the cross-ties (I HAVE CROSS-TIES) and put the saddle pad over his back, I could hear his mental, "Whaaaaaaa?"

I think both were pleasantly surprised though -- I finally rode Solo on Flying Solo Farm and It Was Good.  The boys once again dropped a bunch of weight in the move and lost most of their muscle and feet from standing in the mud all winter, but I have lots of hay and finally, daylight!

Solo and I hacked around the top field, said hello to Trainer Neighbour, even did some trot and canter over a telephone pole fencepost I'd brought up.  Mr. Shiny and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, although I regretted not putting the spurs on, I really should know better after 8 years!!!!

It was well into the 70's though, and none of us have any condition to speak of, so it was short and sweet, but the footing was excellent:  my soil shopping paid off indeed considering our Icepocalypse 27 on Friday.  Already on a roll, I simply traded horses and took Encore up on the longe to stretch his legs.  I expected racehorse, but he was rather pleasantly blase about it all.  Some stretchy trot, some canter that needs its butt back, and Bob's yer uncle.

But the best part of all (well, ok, maybe tied for best) was putting the horses up, throwing out hay...and walking 45 seconds to the back door.  Wow.  I went back up the to feed shed to get something and returned to the house again - just because I could.

My brain and body are fried.  Even writing this requires a pitiful dragging of each staggering sentence out of its slumber, but we're actually there.  Here.  Even the inside is starting to look a little bit more like a home.

Thanks, BFF, it never would have gotten painted without you!!

Read More

It Was A Dark & Windy Night In North Dakota

At least, that’s what it felt like Monday night as an assault of horizontally-driven snowflakes pelted my face and hands while I daisy-chained extension cords.

It was my first official work-then-home-to-farm day.  As of last Saturday, I am officially residing in the new house, although “moved” would be a strong word.  I have my bed, washer, dryer, and pets along with clean underwear and work clothes.  So we’ll stick with “residing.”

Gee, thanks, mom

My boss and I had spent the day in a project meeting about four counties south.  Having had no internet access, I knew the weather was supposed to be around 50 during the day with some rain and then plummet to 14 that night.  So I’d left the horses nekkid and figured I’d throw their blankets on when I fed that evening.

Oops.

My first clue came as we drove south and all the DOT signs along I-85 flashed “WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM NOON UNTIL MIDNIGHT.”  Well, both the boys had their shelter from precipitation and it had been 70 all weekend, so things could only change so quickly.  Right?

Wolverine work truck

We did manage to wrap up the meeting around 2:30 pm so we could hightail it 2.5 hours home.  Our dubious entertainment was watching both whip antennas on Boss' work truck turn into icicles as the wipers’ Effective Clearing Radius shrank to a tiny rainbow of windshield.  The incredulous hilarity continued when we picked up my work truck in Durham and both of us chipped through solid ice with the corners of our scrapers so I could have a teeny patch of windshield to look through.  I was certain I’d break a window; even back home in the Ohio River valley, it was rare for the freeze to occur that hard, that fast.

By the time I arrived home, the roads had turned into skating rinks of flashing lights and crumpled metal.  So quick and unexpected had the severity of the storm been (it was LITERALLY 75 and sunny the day before), many people didn’t even have coats in their cars.

I’m certainly no stranger to winter horse care and have everything I need to do it comfortably, including my beloved heated watertub.  But none of it was set up, naturally, given that Sunday was summer.  Frantically, as the weak daylight disappeared, I threw out serendipitously pre-stacked hay as I curried icicles off the horses and dragged crunchy, frozen blankets over them, forcing frozen straps through buckles with fat glove fingers.

Plz no moar winterz

We finally got squared away though, and I spent the entire time mentally screaming gratitude for the wonderful Adult Rider friend who’d given us the cozy feed shed and brought her family over to help set it up, and to ACB for his tremendous assistance stacking hay, setting posts, moving pallets, and the gift of the beautifully blinding magnetic LED that lit up the whole shed and the curtain of lost blizzard that pushed its way around all three of us.

Tripping over my own boots as I took them off in the mudroom, and staggering to the nearest folding chair (hey, it has beer-holders), I caught my breath and tried to figure out when we’d been sucked out of the Carolinas and into some Midwestern version of hell. 

All I could hear was a sardonic voice in my head cackling, “Welcome home!”

Read More

Home At Last

Well, some of us.  In a flurry of superhuman attempts to beat the daylight all weekend, I did manage to get the boys onto that patch of grass, a match I have been pursuing since last May.  Can I really have done it?

They managed two steps before they dropped their heads in excitement over a long-lost green friend.  Definitely the most peaceful move-in I have ever experienced.

Approximately four seconds in

 When I can't ride anymore, I shall keep horses as long as I can hobble along with a bucket and wheelbarrow. When I can't hobble, I shall roll my wheelchair out by the fence of the field where my horses graze, and watch them.        ~Monica Dickens
 

Is this really for me??

And it was good.

  

Read More

Long May You Run

My 30th, Solo's 13th in 2009

I couldn't imagine a more fitting phrase for the birthday of my center of orbit, my sun, my Solaris.  Thanks, Neil Young (it was even inspired by his horse). 

I didn't know Solo's exact birthday when I brought him home.  From his Coggins, it appeared to be sometime in early spring, so I simply assigned him one that would be easy to remember:  mine.

While I often forget what day it is & rarely do much about my own aging, I always remember & celebrate not just Solo's day, but every day since he came into my life & irrevocably changed so many parts of it and me.

So here's to you, my very best friend, partner, & piece of my heart.  Even thinking about the insane adventures, ups & downs, glorious triumphs and the darkest of heartbreaks brings tears of both sorrow & gratitude of unimaginable depth.   

Seeing your head shoot up at the sound of my voice is still the best part of any day & even through my current exhaustion, the thought of seeing you at home is what keeps me going.  I cannot wait to present you with the farm that I built for us. 

Memorial Day 2006:  I brought him home

Our partnership would not exist but for the team of wonderful people that surrounds us &, most of all, the two who made it all possible along the way.   

Thank you, from both of us, although those words fail to encompass the emotion, to mum & Jim, the founding members of Team Flying Solo, for the gift of this extraordinary relationship that was & still is more powerful, more miraculous, and more intimate than I ever dreamed.

I revive, then, my inner 12-year-old girl and the Ridiculously Cheesy Solo Montage from a 2010 nighttime fit of boredom.  I love you, buddy.  Please resist your genetic drive to be a walking suicide machine for a while yet, ok?

The song is by Templeton Thompson, a very talented and very kind singer/songwriter and horsewoman 

I had the pleasure of meeting about five years ago at an Equine Affaire in Raleigh.

2011 Area II Indian Smurf Award:  For courage in the face of adversity

I hope we have many stories left to tell.  I WILL get you back in shape this year, I know you are bored and I am so sorry -- I know how much you have left to give, although you owe me nothing!

We have a fresh start with your younger chew toy brother, who entertains us both, & Awesome Crew B, who always lends a hand & a shoulder.

And we have you, my wonderful readers and friends.  You are part of our team too, & sharing our journey has enriched it even more.  It's hard to believe that there are over 200 of you on our feed now; I thank all of you for letting me share my shiny, stubborn, loyal, kind, & altogether remarkable flying Solo with you.      

As Neil Young so fittingly wrote:

We've been through some things together, 

with trunks of memories still to come.
We found things to do in stormy weather,
Long may you run.

Although these changes have come, 

With your chrome heart shining in the sun, 

long may you run. 

Read More

I'm A Real Boy, Er, Farmmmm!

But first, don't forget to vote for us and my completely ridiculous face in the Carolina International contest we are losing, LOL!  The prize is a coveted horse trial entry that I long to be able to do.  Thank you for all who have given their support, y'all rock!!

Now, to the topic at hand:

It is, ladies and gentlemen, real indeed.  I give thee...

Flying Solo Farm at dusk

Where I do not live.  Nor do my horses.  But hey, it's a process!  We started from here: 

Almost exactly the same vantage point last August

Things that do live there:

A feed shed!

A wonderful fellow Adult Rider has a farm nearby and the shed had been laying disassembled in her pasture, so she generously offered it to me and even brought her husband over to help put it back together!  Three cheers for no feed tubs in the laundry room!!

Finished fencelines

East side of main pasture opposite house

I have a couple gates to build, a battery for my fence charger to buy, and a few more buckets of dirt to move.  Oh yeah, and maybe put some gravel down in front of the house.  The grader still has some work to do and the factory still has to send a few parts and repairs for the house, but it's passed final inspection. 

If the atmosphere will just cooperate, in about two weeks, my boys will be able to watch this:

Sunset from the run-in site.

Read More

The Auger Returns: A One-Act Play

Setting:  A mild day in a North Carolina field.  Two people are going about the business of setting a 6 x 6 and a 4 x 4 post as anchors for Flying Solo Farm's shed dividers.  However, the tractor currently has the frame drag attached, so it must be traded out for the auger, which sits in the lovely, but unnecessary hole it made in November.

ACB:  He even matches the tractor!

Eventer79:  Hey, honey, I'm just going to go dump the drag and fetch the auger, I'll be back in a little bit, ok?

Awesome Crew B (hereafter ACB):  Ummmm, ok.....

Eventer79 exits stage left.  Eventer79 re-enters stage left 45 seconds later.

Eventer79:  Yeah, that is a really stupid idea.  This is going to take two people, will you come with me? [note that the auger had been placed in a temporary storage location on a slope and is heavy as shit]

ACB:  Sure, I wondered how you were going to pull that off.

Eventer79 and ACB exit stage left with tractor and unhook drag before proceeding down the hill.  Enter auger stage right.

Eventer79:  Lalalala, I'll just back up to it and we'll hook it right up, because we left it set up that way last time!

Auger:  heh heh heh heh.....

ACB:  Ummmm, hey, the top bar is blocked by the PTO housing?

Just keep backing, just keep backing...

Eventer79:  Oh yeah, duh.  I already forgot that you have to take off the top arm of the 3-point hitch first and that bar goes there.

ACB:  Ah, that's right, ok, we're good now, just roll back a little.  [connects uphill 3-pt arm]

Auger:  Now watch this...

ACB:  W.T.F. [despite much struggling, kicking, and pondering, we cannot get the downhill arm to line up with the pin]

Enter Amazing Neighbour stage right.  Proceed with hammering and head-scratching.  Eventer79 is glad that she did not attempt this alone or else she might have needed a sleeping bag.

Auger:  You shall never defeat me...

All Characters:  WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE STUPID, AUGER?  WE HAVE OVER 80 YEARS OF COLLECTIVE TRACTOR EXPERTISE HERE, WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM?

Auger:  ROFLMAO

Neighbour:  Let's just disconnect the uphill one and then do the downhill one first.  Then the uphill one will be easy.

Eventer79:  Oh.  Well.  Yes, this is why I like having you around, you always have better ideas!

Auger:  Dammit...

Seat with a view.  Well, pre-shed.

Cheers erupt, the throttle is increased and the triumphant team of Eventer79 and ACB roll up the hill with waves of thanks to Amazing Neighbour.

Auger:  Oh, you think you're great now, huh?

Eventer79:  Something feels funny.  Like something is catching.

Auger:  BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

ACB:  What the..the PTO came off.  But it was on there really well!  Sigh.  We'll just hold it till we get to the shed.

The returning party arrives at the shed and with the application of much grease, proceeds to firmly reattach PTO and double check that everything is secure.  Hole locations are flagged, measurements re-measured, and it's go-time.

Eventer79:  You better drill a bloody hole this time, you recalcitrant beast, after all that!!

Auger:  Grumble...

The hitch is lowered, PTO engaged, clutch lifted, and...

VICTORY!

Auger:  Fine.  Whatevs.  I know where you live...

After much leaping and dancing for joy, the second hole is drilled, posts set and leveled, concrete poured, and holes tamped down.  Hope remains, then, for holes where you actually want them!  Lesson:  do not store your implements on a slope if you want to hook them up by yourself.  Noted.

We have very serious groundhogs in NC.

Read More