When 'Failure' Isn't Failure

Brilliantly perfect!

Before I sate your curiosity about the title, I have to comment on my Problem With Posting.  It's easy to see the trend when you look at our archive tab over there on the right. 

But the root lies deep within my weird special brain:  I have lots of draft posts, but I can't bring myself to hit that "Publish" button until they are Good Enough.  The problem arises from the fact that I set my own bar a wee bit high (sadly, not the good kind of high, heh).  So getting to Good Enough for a single post is hours of work & research.

It's even on the shirt...

Just Post It.  It's Just A Blog!

I should & it is.  But those of you who have been insanely following our story over time have most likely read my "mission statement" (yes, I'm doing some experiments building an "About Us" page, you can find it by clicking our logo in the left sidebar as well)  While useful & valuable as a record of our adventures, this blog began & remains a labour of love not just about me, but for YOU.  There's a reason for the word "team" in that logo... 

The undercurrent I strive for & the reason I share our stories is this:  there are many of us out there, the Adult Amateur, working full-time & then some, juggling busy lives & sunset tables to squeeze in every minute we can with our giant, baffling, wonderful, suicidal, maddening equine partners & friends.  And I want you to know that you are not alone in the ups AND the downs.

The blessing is being part of this great community; the curse is my own fixation on providing content of value that doesn't make your brain bleed when you try to follow the rambling (yeah, there's a lot of editing...).

It sucks...

Back To That Title, If You Don't Mind?

I shamelessly confess I am reposting this from a conversation with a younger friend, who is struggling, as many of us have & continue to do, with that tug-of-war between our longing to spent every waking moment with/on/near horses & the rude fact that we have to pay bills, mortgages, & other irritating obligations. 

More than a few get caught straddling the fence of "I want to make horses my life, but I don't want to live in a dumpster & I need health insurance."  Pile on that most difficult period of life my friend is in, the early-to-mid 20's angst, when you feel like you should know what you are doing & where you are...  Good times.

BFF & Pete the WonderHorse:  The Bests

Why Can't I Just Make My Dreams Come True?

I'm lucky to have an amazing BFF, we've had many conversations about this, as we share lives of unending crises. We agreed that my generation was just pounded with what was really a terrible message in disguise: "Follow your dreams, you can have anything you want if you just want it bad enough, and you will be happy."

Not to say we shouldn't dream nor should we stop trying to achieve what is important & gives meaning to us.  But the message was delivered almost as an order & left many people feeling like they had failed if they weren't among the lucky whose desire crossed paths with opportunity & means.

Which couldn't be farther from the truth.  The truth is that as we get older, really, that just means more time has passed in which things happen to us. Some are beautiful. Some are shattering. Many fall somewhere in between. There's a lot we can't control or ever anticipate.

Patience & Practice...Are Hard But Necessary

One of my life mantras is "nothing lasts forever." NOTHING. Nothing in the universe. Things can suck for a REALLY long time, but everything comes to an end. Great things come to end too, which is why it is so important to try & remember to relish those moments.

Just like eventing, it's a journey. Or a book. There are many chapters. But there is no Table of Contents (dammit). Or index or map. Which is probably a good thing, because I'm not sure any person's brain could even face the enormity of it.

Perhaps it's better summed by saying that there is a balance. Constantly-shifting perhaps, but we just have to feel it out. And we get better with practice. And experience. Even experience we don't particularly want.

Who could ask for more?

There Is Respite

At the moment, I'm a human wasteland, exhausted, with 400 impossible work deadlines that go all the way up to Congress. But for 40 minutes Wednesday evening, a pomegranate sunset escorted Solo & I around the farm bareback & he lifted his back into a soft trot up the neighbour's long drive.

In Thursday's ice rain, it was hard to believe I was wearing a t-shirt & jeans, but for those 40 minutes, it was me & my best buddy, with him saving me yet again, & I couldn't suppress my laugh when he pulled at the bridle for more.

Not exactly proportional, but...balance. Ish.

Read More

You Know That Day You Were All Like “Imma Be A Hero!” Pt II

Here Come The Awesome Points!

After meticulously clearing spaces around all levers & pedals, I slip the tractor into 4x4, put the transmission in (s)low gear, & begin the crawl towards my road.
 

Snow, hay, it all drags, right???

Hold on to your panties, because…it’s working!  I keep the drag teeth adjusted at just the right height so they don’t reach the fragile, saturated soil beneath.  They break up the tire tracks so there is no risk of creating packed ice.  I move to the side of my path every few minutes to lift the drag, dropping accumulated snow so it doesn’t get too heavy.

Richard’s house is very close to the street, our driveways connect, so as I turn (about 20 mins later…I wasn’t kidding about slow) onto his section to make my entrance as Epic Rescue Neighbour, I see him with snow shovel in hand, having just cleared the edges of his carport.  He waves & walks down the hill, so I stop & switch off the tractor to chat.

Begin Subtraction Of Attempted Awesome Points

I excitedly point to my Ingenious Solution & proudly announce that I could finally repay him for…at least 1% of all he’s done.  Richard grins & replies.   

*insert trademark NC retiree accent here*

“Great!  I was just about to start up the skidsteer.  I was just gonna plow a quick loop around our driveways up here by the pole barn & the street so it’ll get down to that black surface & melt faster.”

Oh, yeah, he also owns an industrial skidsteer to which he added a 5’-wide bitey bucket of his own.  And a 10,000-lb excavator.  And pretty much anything else you can think of (except a drag!!).

“Aww, Richard!”  You’d think I’d have learned my odds of success whenever I start to think I’m awesome.  “Dang it, now you ruined it!  How am I ever going to be helpful when you own every toy in the world??!”  I’m laughing at the same time, so it wasn’t as heartless as it sounds, hee.

As Richard is also the trademark, old-school southern farmer-type (of the best subspecies in that genus), with a heart of gold & an enormous Compulsive Helping complex, he, also laughing, insists that, no, no, my Ingenious Solution is still helpful.  ROFL.
 

Stubborn Woman Will Help You Whether You Like It Or Not

And once she has started, she’s not stopping just because you can swoop around 30 times faster on your all-terrain tracks & clear everything better than a snowplow because you have 80,000 hours of experience.  Nope, she’ll follow you around with the drag, breaking up & smoothing the skidsteer tracks.  Hey, it looks prettier & it will increase meltage even more.  Go team!!

Naturally, Richard’s Helping complex also kicked in, so when he finished his loop, he proceeded to polish off my entire driveway, including my tractor path back to the run-in.

Endgame

Me = 100 points for good intentions, 10 points for actual usefulness

Richard = 1,000 more Awesome Points to add to his already uncountable total, all of which are also 100% actually useful

---

TL;DR:  My personal slogan may be something like, “Dang, I tried to help,” but I am possibly the luckiest farm owner ever when it comes to neighbours.

Just for pretty factor, our much more well-behaved snowfall from January, which melted in two hours, like proper NC winter should!

Read More

You Know That Day You Were All Like “Imma Be A Hero!” -- Pt. I

Richard w/ hydraulic driver = epic

Where you could finally pay back Epically Awesome Neighbour for the ten million things he’s helped you with?

Just face it, you’re never going to be the hero.  But you get an A for effort.

Back Story

Ok, I am heinously lucky & have two Epically Awesome Neighbours. 

1. Vanessa, professional horse trainer & former 1* long-format eventer, kind, generous, helpful, &, along with her husband, welcoming from the very start.
2. Richard, professional fence-builder/bush-hogger/idea-generator/general-rescuer-in-chief.  Technically retired, although he still works at LEAST as many hours as his thoughtful & entertaining wife.

I owe you many stories (I am so very sorry, work…there is not even an adjective), but this story is about Richard.

I could not have built this farm without him.  Because this is Richard.

Teaching me PROPER hi-tensile wire repair

 And this is Richard.

Need a telephone pole driven?

 And this is Richard.

Need a log moved so you can build your own XC jump?

He feeds my horses in the mornings when I have to travel (often) for work (to be fair, all three of us have horses & he is the end of my driveway, since the land I bought was his back pasture).  He splits spring & fall farm call fees with me since we use the same vet.  He stands guard as watchdog of my person & property (as well as our entire mini-community back here).

Not. Cool.  Although quite chilly.

Ok, So He’s Captain America

When I woke up this morning to 8” of fresh powder, somehow off-course from its proper destination at Whistler or, oh, I don’t know, anywhere but here (fine, it’s better than 3” of ice), I first said a lot of very bad words fed the horses.  I’d filled their heated trough yesterday & they were content munching hay under cover, but I wanted to at least reduce the depth of the fluffy white devil between their mouths & the master hay shed so I could move some bales tomorrow.

Tractor w/ drag attached in nicer times

Problem:  Tractor is wonderful, indispensible, infinitely fussed-over treasure, but using bitey bucket (aka Front End Loader [FEL] aka 4-in-1 bucket) as plow/bulldozer is near the top of the list of Mortal Tractor Sins (unless you like fixing hydraulic systems).

I fire it up; it needs to run anyway, wake up the battery, circulate the fluids, & when that little workhorse Shibaura diesel warms up, I can at least grab a couple bales of hay.
 
Looking For A Hero?

You know by now that one thing I am never short on is crazy ingenious solutions.  As I broom snow off the tractor (see above BETTER THAN ICE), my eyes settle on the currently-attached drag.  My brain immediately flashes an image of drag links rolling & spreading clumps of old hay in the paddocks.

Safe from my "ideas"

*insert light bulb here - probably also a warning sign*

Not only can I drastically speed driveway melting (it’s 0.3 hilly miles to the road, not that the latter is ever plowed or treated either) with my mad drag skillz (my favourite feature:  it has a welded frame, so you can lift it with your 3-pt hitch & avoid shredding hoses or destroying packed gravel), but I can swoop in with my disintegrating snow gloves blue diesel cape & take care of Richard’s driveway too!!

For, just yesterday, on my way home from my exotic beach conference, he’d mentioned that his tractor starter was dead.  It also does not have 4x4.  Thanks to me, if emergency vehicles are needed, there shall be access for all!

---

To be continued...

Read More