Talking to a friend the other day. She was having an
SFH day & fancied herself failing at progressing with her partner. I think this is something we all struggle with.
I told her to take a deep breath. It's dressage. We generally always feel like we're failing at that, so it's totally normal.
If your shoulders ache & you feel like you want to scream & you call your horse very nasty names...you are in good company (
or at least my company, whose quality may at times be questionable, but is, on occasion, quite entertaining).
The Hard Lesson That Forward Is Sometimes Backwards
It is easy to get lost in the details of training. The one thing you can count on is that
it will never proceed in a straightforward, linear fashion.
We think, "
Well, I have taught Dobbin skill X (say, not trotting around like a freaking giraffe), so Dobbin should therefore perform skill X whenever I ask him to." The knowledge has been implanted in his pea brain, so let's move on. Right?
Assume Stands For...?
Dobbin will, some days, spontaneously forget that you have ever ridden him. The next day, you will swear he is the
second coming of Ravel. The day after that, well, he will probably be lame, so you won't have to worry about it. He is a horse, after all.
We, too, may spontaneously forget how to ride. I may be cursing Solo's very name wondering why he won't stay soft in the bridle. Only to find that my arms are clenched in a steely death grip & I'm leaning forward. Oops.
How, then, are we ever supposed to make progress in light of this maddening, meandering "process?"
Take Heart
- You are NEVER alone. Every single person out there trying to teach a horse something is going through the same thing. If they say they haven't, they are a flat liar. And it doesn't just happen once. It happens over & over & over & over. And then it happens again.
The very fact that your horse displays resistance can mean that you are challenging him. This is a good thing! You cannot make progress unless you push the boundaries a little.
- Staying patient & riding through are EXTREMELY hard skills to master. But they do come with practice. Solo is a jedi of the redheaded temper tantrum & he can raise my blood pressure to the stratosphere. But I have more tools than he does; I have flexions & transitions & laterals & all kinds of instruments of sandbox torture that will eventually either distract him or wear him out. All I have to do is...
The horse you are sitting on will change every single day. If you try to ride Yesterday's horse today, your chances of success are slim. As soon as your butt touches that saddle, you have to ride Right Now's horse.
The Answer? Adapt
Very often, I go in the arena, thinking, "W
ell, Yesterday Solo had some really nice canter transitions, so today we'll add lateral work at the canter." Only to find out that Today Solo has forgotten how to do a downward transition without snatching the bit out of my hands.
I must then alter my ride plan to set up Today Solo to succeed. Tomorrow Solo might suddenly remember lovely transitions but decide he's just not feeling shoulder-in.
In biology, we call this
adaptive management: change the plan on a continuum, based on feedback from the data you have now. The more data you gather, the more you tweak & tailor your plan. It prevents us from becoming mired in a static process that "seemed like a good idea at the time."
Be willing to adapt to the Today Horse.
Never be afraid to ask for help. And never forget to step back & breathe.
If It Was Easy, We'd Run Out Of Blue Ribbons
Horse training is a little bit science, a little bit art, a little bit luck, & a whole lot of trial & error. Each horse is different; what is easy for one may be very difficult for the next & they all have their unique quirks alongside moments of brilliance.

So take it one day at a time. If you feel yourself getting hot under the collar, take a break, take a breath, take stock of who your Today partner is.
The horse doesn't know what your original goal was. So far as he's concerned, you were planning on taking a quiet hack through the field all along. Bingo: you both win!