The hardest part about enriching our lives with animals lies in the fact that they have shorter lifespans then we do. Perhaps it is because they love so fiercely and live so openly -- a brighter fire burns more fuel. The end result is that they break off a little piece of our heart when they go.
I am writing this today because I won't be able to do it on Wednesday. When Dr. Bob comes and lays Smokey to rest for me. The kindest dog I ever met deserves a tribute after sixteen and a half years of unabated love and companionship.
So this is for you, big girl, because your brown eyes will always be with me.
You have been the longest relationship of my life. When I first met you, I was a gangly sixteen. You were a timid, nondescript pound puppy who became fast friends with our bold Eskimo-cross, Sasha. You two were inseparable, so naturally, you joined her as my 4-H training project. A little bit Shepherd, a little bit Collie, and very quickly, a big piece of my heart.
Remember when we used to get to obedience class at the county fairgrounds early and we would lie in the summer grass next to the lake? I would show you the most interesting clouds and you'd keep an eye out for squirrels.
Remember when we would visit the creek by the house and you loved it so much, you would take a galloping leap off the bank so you could relish the cool splash of the belly flop?
Remember when you and Sasha would pick some poor, unsuspecting squirrel and stalk and tag-team him each time he dared come to the ground? You two even scored a squirrel tail one time...
Remember when we would go hiking around the lake and you would catch a glimpse of a deer through the woods? You would bound into the air like your legs were on springs, Collie-flop ears all a-perk and nose working overtime with enthusiasm.
Remember when we would sled in the fresh snow behind the house and you would dash alongside our saucers, nipping at snowsuit legs and always trying to figure out where snowballs went when they hit the ground?
Remember your nemesis, the box turtle? How did he just become a seamless rock? How dare he disappear like that? You were determined to bark him out.
Remember later, when you came to join me in graduate school. Sasha had died and you were lost in deep mourning without her. I was 24 and you staunchly guarded my apartment against all comers, friend or foe. You rode in the creaky old elevator of the biology building, keeping a suspicious eye on the numbers, so you could visit me at work and find a new lease on life. Oh yeah, and those squirrels...
Remember long swims in Carolina lakes alongside the canoe? It always seemed to make your shoulder arthritis vanish and I saw the puppy again when you came leaping out of the water.
Remember cold nights, curled up on the couch? Your fur always kept my feet warm and your thick ruff made a welcome pillow for hugs and tears alike.
You were always there for me, always in the doorway. Always with a watchful eye on me and an ear cocked in my direction. Complete devotion, loyalty, and gentleness. You knew how to work a campfire, extracting maximum bellyrubs from all parties. You were an excellent boater, camper, hiker, traveler, and friend.
I have been proud to know you and proud to love you and you have never let me down. I can only hope that I can take the gifts and lessons of love you have given me and pass them on to others in need.
Your heart is still strong, despite your tired body. No doubt it always will be. You are free to go. You don't have to search me out anymore. You don't have to protect me anymore. You can just lie the shade of the farm trees and rest for as long as you want in the grass that you love to roll in.
But I will miss you always.
