The One Minute Update Post

Thank you, Emily B., I'll try not to kill it!!

So many...so little...things time places ahhhh!  Therefore, you get what you get, but owe you updates, I do!!

• The Bump(s) turned out to be bruised veins.  No, I had no idea horses could do that either.  Told you he was creative.  But Encore is cleared for work (we're not telling him!) with application of magical Dr. Bob creme to bruises, oh except for the obligatory sole bruise.  However, if he is sound enough to do a big, powerful floating trot across rocky dirt for his dinner...he is sound enough to ride on footing, dammit!  

• I will be updating our "For Sale" tab with new items and more information!  Don't miss your chance for some great deals on clothes, tack, & more -- and yes, TFS desperately needs to raise some monehs.  The horses are eating well, but textured feed is a bit crunchy for me, even in milk!

• Just a thank you.  I am so lucky to know a really neat group of people who made the effort to come out and share some food and relax yesterday evening (FARMWARMING PARTY!).  In the shade next to the pasture, on a beautiful, low-key afternoon, it was wonderful to introduce some of my horsey people to my fish (work) people, while actually getting to sit still!  

A bottomless thank you to BFF for organizing the details & telling me to stop freaking out and take a shower, and to her husband for making the most amazing vinegar BBQ chicken and green beans.  I love you all and am so very grateful for your friendship, generosity, and willingness to put up with me (although, I should think that last is fairly entertaining at times).

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How To Make Your Horse Lame

I suppose that got your “WTF???” click.  But I kid you not, Encore heard me typing the last part of the previous post through walls, in the pasture!  He made his final decision when his ears picked up the cell signal of my phone call to BFF, planning a conditioning ride today.  *sad yet unsurprised face*

So I got to spend yesterday afternoon staring at this:

ColdFlex wrap: back in action

This may be true, but so?!

Two calls to the emergency Batphone in two months really is a bit much for my blood pressure, buddy.  Happily, (although probably not for him) Batman Dr. Bob himself was on call this weekend.  His cool practicality born of literally a lifetime of experience (his dad was a vet and a TB breeder, as well) is a perfect antidote for both my brain’s ability to leap from “it’s just a bump” to “lethal tendon injury in 0.3 seconds” AND my imaginary bank account.  Because I was already jumping into the pool of “omg, what imaging do I need?!”

It went something like this:
(I’ll make it easy and put Dr. Bob’s way-less-dorky-than-me-and-actually-useful comments in red) 

“Dr. Booooob (hahaha, my typing impression of my sad fatalistic voice makes him Dr. Boob, yes, I am 12), I came out this morning and Encore has once again telepathically overheard my attempt at actually scheduling something.”

“Of course, he has, he is Encore!”  (even he marvels at the ability of a horse with nothing inherently wrong with him to constantly hurt himself just enough to get out of real work)

But mom, dis all I want to do!

“He has a grape-sized soft swelling on the lateral side of his right front fetlock,  you can feel the ligament rolling back and forth in the squishy.  There is also a small swollen area on the medial side of the same leg, up behind his knee, in the check ligament area.  There is a small amount of heat in each, he is on his second cycle of cold hose/wrap right now.  I palpated all of the soft tissue in both front legs:  he had no reaction.  Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????????????” (ok, that last I may have only said internally)

“Is he hopping around on three-legs when he comes up?”
“No, he appears sound wandering around his paddock.”
“Is he lame at the trot?"
“I did not do any soundness evals, I didn’t want to mess anything up.”

“Ok, good.  Give him a gram of bute twice a day, keep up the cold therapy, leave him be, and we’ll evaluate on Monday.  To be honest, I’ve seen a zillion of these things and many of them are simple bruises or something similar that just need a few days off and they go away.” 
“Yes, I shaved the fetlock spot and there were signs that he could have knocked something.”
“Yep, let’s just get the anti-inflammatories in his system.  Since he lives outside, just leave him out, he’s not going to do anything goofy.  He can keep moving around so it doesn’t get stiff and increase swelling.”

“Ok, no worries, he is very chill.  It is Solo’s job to generally run around and do something silly.  Plus it’s hot.  I’m sure you’ll be shocked (end sarcasm font), but a couple of questions?”
“Sure!!”

“Should I put anything on it like DMSO or the magical ButaCort creme you gave me?”
“No, just bute and cold.  If there’s a small cut or puncture, I don’t want to put anything on there yet, but good question.”

Master farrier at work

“Should I put him on the longe or anything and evaluate him or just leave him alone?”
“Just leave him alone, the treatment will be the same.”

“Cool.  One more:  Johnathan (awesome farrier) re-shod him on Friday and when he put the left front shoe on, Encore shifted funny when he set it down and felt weird under saddle that evening.  I checked the nails as best I could, and we know he has butt-loads of hoof wall, but he seemed a little weird around the toe.  Could this be a contributing factor?  He hoof-tested all four at the end like he always does, and they were fine, though.”

“No, I seriously doubt it.  Johnathan is way too good for that.  He may just need to reset a nail or the shoe a little, but if we look at him on Monday, we can solve two issues at once.  But as many years as I have been doing this, there really is no point right now to try and pin down a cause.  I’ll be happy if it is just gone on Monday and we can carry on, I don’t need to know why as long as Encore is happy.  I’m really totally fine with that!  Even on the off chance that the two are related…”
 “…the treatment would not change.”
“Correct.”

“Ok, thanks.  I will be happy if it just goes away too!!!  I sent Johnathan a message and will keep him apprised.”
“Bute, cold, go forth.”

End scene.

So I shall.  Go forth.  I’ve got two wraps in the fridge (so I can alternate; never freeze them) for extra cooling.  He was a little stiff walking off after standing in cross-ties for 1.5 hours, but then, so was I.  Three steps later, he was fine and pranced rather spectacularly for his dinner.  I maintain hope for minor windpuffs.

Solo models after a Novice HT in 2010

As for the ColdFlex wraps, wow, did that experiment pay off!  I bought two of them years ago to use on Solo post-XC because ice is just a giant pain in the tail and I only want to bring my little drink cooler.  I was so happy with them I bought two more immediately thereafter!  It wasn’t terribly cheap at $80 for four, but for their convenience, if they were as re-usable as the manufacturer claimed, it would be money well-spent.

Well, they were and it was!!  All four have sat unused in my trailer for at least four years (properly put away in their little baggies and cans with water, of course).  I grabbed the first one to slap it on when I found the injury and it was good as new!!  I soaked it down with cold water, set the fan in front of his leg, and let it do its thing.  I can’t tell you what a life-saver it was to be able to read my reference material, talk to the vet, get things from the house, put on fly sheet, spray horses – all while not having to hold a hose or watch a bucket or worry about ice melting or deal with a boot (they are basically a polo wrap made out of some weird jell-o stuff, so completely flexible).  Win!

Now...bump, I bid thee:  DISAPPEAR!!

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Please Press Pause

Taken from the tractor seat...

Letting the diesel idle, I pause the tractor on a berm in the top pasture.  It’s that quiet intermission when the sky holds its breath as the treetops cradle the last wedge of setting sun.  There’s a marked contrast between east and west; the latter glows in warm orange as the pond reflects a silver version of the same scene and the darkening pines set off the beauty of the painted clouds. 

Off to my left, though, the eastern sky has less placid thoughts.  Bulging piles of pink thunderheads rumble between strobe flashes of cloud lightning.

In between the two – there is me.  Me and two grazing horses, each with an ear cocked to the storm, should it decide to change direction and chase them to shelter.  Tonight, though, the front holds its course, withholding water, but consoling us with a cool wind to dry out the sticky air.  I never want to leave this moment.

If only that were possible.  But I can close my eyes and sneak back there in my mind once and a while.  In the meantime, responsibilities await.  Some are fun (build farm stuff!), some are not (read federal register notices!), most lie in between (find vanishing fishes!).

Horse Things Still Happen

No more poison ivy rubbing!

To my great incredulity, there is progress in some areas (hey, this is rather a feat these days!):  I have finished fencing taping off the main portion of my lower creek pasture so the horses can enjoy it complain that it's itchy out and there are bugs. 

Encore is back in work, errrr, well, let's use that phrase lightly, shall we?  Look, I sweat A LOT, and when it's 80% humidity at 8 pm...  But he's had a couple very nice long-lining sessions (once we were clear that yes, you do have to go forward even though you are in one of your pastures) and the rest of my focus has been on trotting/cantering hills and small obstacles in a balanced rhythm and some bareback lateral/transition work to build his hind end back up.  That butt strength is his critical and most difficult training need, just as aerobic conditioning was for Solo.

I just might give myself permission to take one lesson as a gift to myself in hard times.  Dangit.  Now that I've typed it, Encore is in his paddock right now, looking for something poky or a rock with a usable edge.  Or a stick.  Or a clod of dirt.  *eyeroll*

Are any of you managing to get in some ride time in the burgeoning sweatbox???

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17 TFS Tips For Thriving In Southern Summer

This past December...

Ah, Carolina summer, you have returned.  I noticed your chortling embrace when I took two steps out the back door & then needed to change my shirt because all of my sweat came out at once.

OH, BUT IT'S BEAUTIFUL IN MAINE TODAY! 

I can hear the gloating from you Yankees (hee), but I can take it:  I'll be enjoying my t-shirt XC school in February while your tears freeze onto your snow shovel.  I did my time.

For my compatriots who spent their younger years chipping vehicles out of solid ice blocks & kicking giant ice cubes in the shape of five-gallon buckets & dragging full muck buckets in sleds across snow...and bolted when they got the chance--

I wanted to share our tips for living and working (oh yes, I sweat & carry heavy things all day long and then come home and -- sweat & carry heavy things; it is possible that I am stupid.  Oh wait, I own a horse; scratch that: definitely stupid) in our "included free with purchase!" sweat box.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?  HELP ME!!!

If you (and/or your horse) are new to this dance with 100% saturated air that does not produce rain, you are probably staring with dismay at your car, a mere 100 feet away from your front door, perplexed as to how to get to it & still arrive at work without looking like you LITERALLY just stepped out of the shower -- a really smelly shower with no towel.

I promise, the first summer is the worst, but that is why I am here for you, & why you obviously make smart choices by reading this ridiculous awesome blog.  We can all learn by experience, but you aren't required to.

ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, SOLVED

Humans:

(1)  Take your time:  there is a reason we do everything slowly, including speech.  Moving quickly = more sweat.  Sitting in the shade drinking iced tea beer = less sweat.

(2)  Read this post.  Cotton is NOT your friend.  Ever.  Unless you enjoy slowly suffocating in a blanket of your own perspiration.  Stalk those amazing technical fabric running shirts (bite me, equine brands who want me to pay $50 for a t-shirt, er, bless your hearts, I’m a “normal” person, not made of disposable cash), you can find them on sale at a myriad of sporting goods/outdoor retailers for $12 or less.

(3)  Read this post.  Oh, CoolMedics, bless your heart (practice this phrase, it allows you to say anything without actually insulting someone).  Evaporative cooling is indeed a sound scientific principle – WHEN EVAPORATION ACTUALLY OCCURS.  5000% humidity, not so much.  Thick layer of soggy textiles = misery.

(4)  I wear a handkerchief under my helmet.  (1) Stops profuse sweat from running into my eyes when riding (it burns us, precioussss!) and (2) when I pull off my helmet, I immediately put my head under the hose and soak hair & fabric.  I’m aliiiive!

Jacket-free in the arena at Five Points HT

(5)  Speaking of helmet, you better still be wearing it!!  >:(  It also keeps the ticks/spiders/branches/bird poo out of your hair, as well as said sweaty, nasty hair out of your face.  Same goes for the XC vest.  At a certain point, it’s just bloody hot no matter what.  Never compromise your safety.

(6)  Speaking of attire, seriously, skip the butler jacket unless absolutely required.  I dehydrate FAST because I sweat a lot.  Even in my awesome wicky outfit, if I don’t follow my strict hydration rules & keep eating protein, I will throw up/pass out/prefer to die.

All of our competitions at CHP will waive jackets as soon as it gets steamy out.  In addition, at ANY USEA event where all three phases occur in one day, you NEVER have to wear a jacket.  A technical, tidy polo or show shirt of your choice is fine (it doesn’t even have to be white, *gasp*).  Read the rules.   

If you stubbornly refuse to part from your black coat and come down centerline red-faced & drenched in sweat and then fall off after your test due to heat exhaustion, you do not look “respectful,” you just look (well, floppy & damp) not-very-smart and I dislike having to worry about the safety of fellow competitors (yes, I’m that person).

(7)  Never forget your SUNSCREEN SUNSCREEN SUNSCREEN SUNSCREEN.  And a wide-brimmed hat with a mesh top is a wonderful thing in the sun when you are not mounted.

(8)  Permanently attach a water bottle to your body or the nearest fence post/jump standard/truck hood.  When I am doing field work & riding in the evenings, I can drink 3 L of water in one day & never have to pee.  It all comes out my pores (yes, I sweat like a pig, I don’t glow, I’m not a “lady”).

If you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated.  I don’t even buy bottles smaller than 1 L – I keep about six in my refrigerator and refill & rotate (REUSE YOUR BOTTLES!).  I will also never again live without an icemaker in the freezer. 

(9)  Elaboration on hydration:  I have made a rule that when traveling to a competition or lesson, I must drink 1 L of water on the way there.  NO EMPTY BOTTLE, NO EXIT TRUCK.  It’s hard, but trust me, it makes a huuuuge difference.  The next bottle is half Gatorade (G2, less sugar), half water.   

Tip from an ex-semi-pro mountain bike racer & over-educated gym rat (ha, not me):  Sports drinks by themselves are too concentrated for your body to absorb unless you are performing at like a super-marathoner level.  Or riding David O’s circles of death.  Your metabolism changes modes depending on activity level & if you don’t cut it with water, you’ll just pee it right out.

(10)  Once you go outside, stay out there.  I find it much harder to go in & out of air conditioning, having to re-adjust every time.  I put on my super-wicking outfit, grab my armful of fluids, & I don’t come back in until I am done.  Naturally, frequent drink breaks in the run-in are highly encouraged!

2008!  Solo had a mane...in the upper Yadkin River.

Horses:

(1)  The hottest hours of our days are from 2-5 pm, NOT noon-1 pm (we like to be different).  I try to ride after 6 pm whenever I can.  That said, you DO need to spend some time riding in the heat to heat-condition your horse.  His metabolism can adjust, but to do so, he needs to do some work in the mugginess.

But I’m wayyy past the age where I feel driven to make myself miserable just because…why?  I’m not competing at any level at the moment, my TB does not need to work every. single. day. to stay strong and fit.
 
(2)  I hose my horse before AND after I ride.  There’s nothing wrong with tacking up a wet horse, he’s going to be sweaty soon anyway.  It is CRITICAL while hosing to constantly scrape water off.

Water is a thermal insulator & you can bake your horse in an aquatic oven if you just cover him with water & let it sit there.  The heat is then trapped in his body, which can cause metabolic distress in a big fat hurry.  As you scrape, you will notice the water you are scraping off gets hot almost instantly.

Keep hosing & scraping until that water is cool, especially big muscle groups, like his haunches & neck, & large blood vessels between his hind legs and on his chest.  You can hold running cold water on his jugular vein from his throat to his chest for a few minutes for systemic cooling.

(3)  Fans for everyone.  Small, medium, large, big-ass, plug-in, battery, solar, who cares.  We have physical battles over the space in front of/under the fan.  When in doubt, BUY MOAR FANS!



(4)  Not all shade is your friend.  I prefer open-sided (or 1-2 shade walls) shelters on top of a hill for the horses (breeze, if there is one).  Don’t let the woods lure you in; angry hordes of swarming, maddening vampires await (some call them deer flies).

I didn't want to mow, so I delegated...

(5)  Fly sheets are great…until it’s 102.  The fly boots stay on, but masks & sheets come off over about 85-90.  It’s just. too. hot.  Unless you jump in the pond.  ;P

(6)   Equine electrolytes, but not for the reason you think.  Just like humans, most of the time, the equine metabolism will just pee out the salts in any electrolyte you give him, whether it be paste, or loose salt, or licky blocks.  The important thing is, it makes him thirsty.

For heavy work such as competition, or long trail rides, I’ll give 1/2 a tube before the ride and 1/2 a tube after to encourage drinking drinking drinking.  The boys have access to their favourite pink salt at all times.  Lots of sweat is good – as you probably know, if you don’t see sweat, call a vet (it’s a poem!).

(7)  Horse not drinking as much as you’d like?  Make his water trough more fun – dump in ice, throw in some apples or carrots.  Moisture-rich snacks are welcome, like watermelon, cool beet pulp or alfalfa slurry, or freezer pops (hey, Pete likes them, except for peach).   

And keep it clean:  watch for algae build-up, food dribblers, unwelcome addition of poo (horse, bird, fish) or corpses (beetles, mice, raccoons…hey, it can happen).  If he’s in a stall, multiple buckets are always a good idea.

Now I need to go eat an ice-cream sandwich before I drag some pastures while profusely worshiping the tractor’s sunshade.  Let me know how you beat the heat and still have pony fun!

Bonus if you know the movie

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I Love My Hippopotamus

Especially when he does landscaping, too!  It's Mr. Shiny's favourite part of summer.



Apologies for crappy cell phone vid, interesting things always happen when you don't have the real camera nearby!

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The Journey Of The Tragic Hero

Quiet Moments

I apologize for the rather scattered nature of my last post, but hopefully you were sufficiently distracted by pictures of pus and PONY!

PROBLEM

I have been thinking a lot about this blog lately (among other things, my brain is a hamster on drugs, remember).  Because there is a conundrum.  Longtime readers know that my writing (ok, world) centers around Solo and his big little brother, eventing, horsemanship, and associated topics. 

As our Facebook page notes, it focuses on “being an adult amateur, putting your horse first, and fighting for your goals in a sport that has no mercy for the unprepared or faint of heart (or wallet).”  Aside from an occasional note about the unique challenges (and sometimes awesomeness) of my real job, my personal life is, well, personal.  For myself, the latter is neither relevant nor appropriate content re: my mission statement.

That being said, those of you who have been wonderful supporters along the way also know that my policy is 100% open honesty (pretty sure that’s redundant but my level of give-a-shit is low right now).  Result: conundrum.

SOLUTION?

But I think I have made a decision (reference said hamsters above while laughing about lack of decisiveness in statement of decision).  Although TFS (Team Flying Solo) is an entity I often reference, as is (now) FSF (Flying Solo Farm), the title of this blog remains “We Are Flying Solo:  The Journey Of A Horse & His Girl.”  Just like Solo’s name, there are many layers there, but our story IS about the journey.  And no journey (except maybe a really boring one) is complete or worthwhile without highs AND lows.

Go Pandas! They get to wear polos now?!

If perchance anyone who went to high school with me reads this post, they will giggle at the title along with me.  But it is also A Thing.  I had the same, phenomenal, AP English teacher both my sophomore & senior year of high school.

Mrs. Bricking was the kind of teacher who challenges you to constantly raise the bar, with the motive of opening the minds and eyes of 15-18 year-olds, who are sure they know everything, to a broader view of the world, and the powerful themes and tools that great literature provides.

I totally just used Spiderman; but he fits

Which brings me to the title:  it was there I learned about this nearly ubiquitous tool of story-telling.  The “Tragic Hero” is the main character, usually the protagonist (read:  good guy/woman/thing), and we love her (gender pronoun chosen for simplicity).

She is rife with good qualities, but she always has a “Tragic Flaw,” an Achilles heel, which is required, otherwise you wouldn’t have a story!  It may be an unrequited love, a physical weakness, a negative personality trait, what have you.

As a result, she travels the worn path of the “Tragic Journey.”  Its outcome is uncertain, but there will always be a build-up, a “Tragic Fall” (yeah, everything is Tragic, LOL, goes back to the Greek Tragedies of Sophocles and his peers) to the nadir, the lowest point of the journey.  The Hero(ine) must then struggle to rise from this nadir in order to triumph (or not) in the end.  Think about your favourite movie or book plots – see it?

THAT’S NICE, BUT WHAT, SO YOU’RE A HEROINE NOW?

Hardly.  But that is how I arrived at my conclusion that there is a story that I have not yet written down which needs to be told, because it most certainly is not only a part, but both initiates and shapes OUR entire journey.

A few of you know the details, but I experienced my own nadir in a trauma like no other several years ago (not horse-related) and it continues to haunt my steps.  No doubt you have noticed a change in the blog and I can tell you that it is not, in large part, due to the purchase and move to the farm.  Rather, the reverse is the case, where Flying Solo Farm was born of the Tragic Fall in an attempt to salvage what pieces of the future remained.

BFF & the amazing Texas Pete at Uwharrie NF

IT ALWAYS TAKES A TEAM

So I hope that you can be patient with me as the epileptic hamster tries to find his way back to the wheel in the dark.  Blindfolded.  On three legs.

I do count myself very lucky in having BFF and Erica, who have been unbelievably awesome help, along with THREE incredible neighbours, the wonderful network of Area II Adult Riders and the eventing community. 

They’ve got my six and I am also thankful every day to my mother, who helped make it possible for me to have the most wonderful scenery ever, including my two orange buddies, in which to negotiate the maze and find my way back to this woman.

Gallop (or walk, or just hug) on and don’t worry:  my ridiculous dorkiness and penchant for crazy adventures which never go according to plan remains intact, so you need not cry yourself to sleep that your life shall be unfulfilled without the TFS posts (haha).  Writing is wonderfully cathartic and I hope to continue to share posts with you and of course am reading all of yours!  

And I am still determined as ever to get my amazing Encore (daily thanks too, CANTER MA!) to a T3DE, it’s just going to take a little longer than planned (oh wait, it was a horse plan, that’s a given).

Evening therapy sessions by the pond

One very tired Eventer79 --

Out.

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My Horse Has Itchy Intestines

Lovely

Apparently.  Since on Sunday afternoon, I was presented with the delight you see pictured.

While I spent THREE HOURS clipping and probing and tweezer-ing and hosing and de-ticking (at least he’s patient), I told him next time he had an itch, he could just politely point it out so I could take care of it instead of over-dramatically experimenting with self-gutting on his own.  He already looks like burn victim, having used every reachable surface to scratch half the skin off his face.  He’s that little kid that you have duct-tape oven mitts when they get chicken pox so they won’t claw their skin off.  Only I don’t have enough oven mitts for every post.  And tree.  And rock.  And his entire body.

Ah well, I hadn’t used the emergency vet number in a while.  It was just hot enough and swollen enough and oozy enough that I wanted to make sure I had covered all my bases before someone came to check it out Monday and give him a (naturally, expensive) steroid shot.

Here I would like to pause and note the already employed strategery.  This adorable, wonderful, maddening horse is wearing fly boots, fly sheet when it’s not too hot, fly mask, eats garlic, gets fly spray, is treated with a tick drench, and is groomed often.  I will also note that Solo, aka I Used To Be A Giant, Accident-Prone Parasite Magnet…is fine.

He got his shot and I got permission to spend even more imaginary money on things that aren’t even fun, like antihistamines for the season.  He likely got a bit itchy from tick bites, started scratching on the TREE WITH THE FATTEST POISON IVY VINES and then the oils worked their way into broken skin and it all became a systemic cycle of itchiness.  I moved him out of pasture with said trees but then jinxed myself by observing on Saturday that he was healing nicely.

*pause for multiple eyerolls*

Remember this horse (2012) casually loping 3'7" in the chute?

On the plus side, he had the good grace to at least injure himself in a “no tack goes here” spot (I had noticed the scabs and thought movement from a ride might work out the fluid of the swelling; it did, but by the time I got the saddle off, it blew back up and on closer examination, the depth of drama was revealed).  Time is hard to come by at the moment, but I was determined to carve out 20 minutes, climb on and at least remind Encore what standards look like.
 
That ride…was our first proper jump school in – I’d actually have to look in my own archives it’s been so long – at least seven months.  We hacked next door to Trainer Neighbour’s Jump Field, adjusted a few rails, and assured Encore he would not die alone while OTHER HORSES DID INTERESTING THINGS RIGHT OVER THERE!

After perhaps two or three dressage schools over the last two months and a couple good trail rides with hill work:  The Pro still has it!  I channeled my inner David O. voice, focusing on being patient, consistent, and soft in my hand while not forgetting I have legs (what, I STILL have to think about them?) to keep his butt engaged and his poll up.  When Encore got antsy, I heard Becky in my head repeating, “Don’t torture him, give him something to do with that energy!”

C'mon, let me take you for a ride! (High Time Photography)

Reward:  Encore didn’t touch a rail, and our final jump was a 3’4” vertical from a solid rhythm where I stayed soft, kept my shoulders up over the apex, kept my butt off his back coming down, and we cantered away forward, but relaxed.  That arc where we both get it all right at the same time – I have a vague memory of that feeling.  Definitely time to get off now and don’t screw it up!  

Maybe we should all spend a little less time beating ourselves up for not riding “enough” (who defines that anyway??) and lower the pressure by just enjoying time on the back of a horse.  Letting ourselves be pleasantly surprised when picking just a detail or two for focus results in an improved bigger picture.  It doesn’t have to be a jump.  It can be a transition into a trot, three steps closer to that horse-eating tree stump, a more responsive halt, a more accurate turn, or even an anxiety-free hack in the woods.

That's a challenge for all of us -- let me know how it worked out for you!

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Farm Ownership = Endless Discoveries

To those who follow us on social media, these little “surprises” may sound familiar.  For the rest of you slackers wonderful people, here lies the confession that I really have abandoned the last shred of my dignity:  I made a hashtag in Twitland.  *so much shame*  I had such noble oaths (once the little pound signs were explained to me) that I would never become one of Those People.  At least it wasn’t a big fall.  Does it make it any better if searching for my own hashtag only finds two of them – even the internet is embarrassed for me…

Yes, I even make stupid faces while driving tractors

After I began living at the farm, though, it didn’t take long for these little moments unique to home horse-keeping to pop up.  Even those which elicited “not-family-friendly” exclamations made me laugh knowing that I was not likely the first (nor the last) to have the experience (with no small bit of incredulity, as in “was I really that stupid again!?).  What choice did I have, really, for sharing on the go?  (justification!)  And so the tag was born.      

For my pasture-mowing peers, both newly-minted and counting-the-decades, I know you KNOW.  I think we can all learn something (in most cases, “Don’t do that.”).

I present for your entertainment (and as a gift, corrected for the horrific grammar that is cruelly forced on me by that 120 character limit):

But...teh pretteh...can't go inside

#Farmownerdiscoveries:

• Yay! When you forget to take off your half chaps & spurs, you just leave them at back door for next time!
• Doh! My self-draining hose setup DOES work. And can siphon 1/2 the tank before I notice if I forget to remove the hose.
• 0.o  That "simple" project in your head that you can "quickly" cobble together?  Just don't.
• Oops. Put on work uniform fleece AFTER throwing am hay.
• Yay! Your horses always appear at the gate when you come out the back door-it might be feeding time!

Wear real shoes to kick

• Oh, hai, neighbour’s excavator driving past my living room!
• Oops. Right when you think you’re a tractor badass, you get the drag caught on your tape fence.  :/
• A good hose quick-connect is THE SHIT.
• You never go inside on a pretty night. "Just one more thing!"
• Never say "They won't go anywhere, they'll just eat grass."  :/
• You can hike a 3-acre pasture in slippers.  In the dark.
• Once you start pulling dead plants from along a fenceline, you can't stop.  So...hungry...

Low:  You DO need it!

• That moment you realize you don’t even have to put on pants to feed. Note:  did not practice. But i could.
• You never knew how much you needed the tractor...till it was gone.
• You are late for work...because you get stuck staring out your windows at the awesome.
• You can't kick a 3-pt hitch very hard in flip flops.
• Oh, that’s what low gear is for!
• Feeling shitty? Move your chair.
• Going to a clinic and I don’t even have to start the truck! #greatneighbors
• You're not really bush-hogging ‘til you bend a fencepost with the loader. #Fml

A good chair view = therapy

Share what you've screwed up discovered – maybe I can avoid a future *facepalm* or two, my head is getting sore! 

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Fun With Power Tools: How Poor People Build Jumps, Lesson 1

Hey, #mindyourmelon, right?

Want to build your own portable flower box for $5 in under 30 minutes?

Didn't think so, m'kay, bye!  ;P

Now that I have your attention and slavering hope that there might be a useful post ahead -- those of you who follow us on Teh Facebooks and Twitland saw the exciting results of my spurt of inspiration (thanks, Erica!) on Friday.

A better description for this project may be "why dumpster diving pays off," but who doesn't love working out some aggression with a Skilsaw anyway??  LET'S GET READY TO...REDNECK SOME SHIT!  (Note: I must include thanks, growing up with a genius mechanical engineer dad who just about rebuilt our entire house taught me many useful skills!)

Preface from the Safety Nazi:  Dude.  Tools are awesome, but don't mess around.  Wear your safety glasses, close-toed shoes, ear protection when necessary, and pay attention.  Horsewomen (don't feel left out, boys) are badasses, but the good kind work smarter, not harder.  You can do anything you set your mind to, but make sure you have been properly instructed, know your equipment, and always plan ahead. 

What I Used (but there are lots of options I'll try to cover)

Photobombing level.

Tools:

• Skilsaw (optional)
• Drill loaded w/ drill bit (optional)
• Impact Driver loaded w/ screwdriver bit (my new love plus I hate changing bits -- that goes for horses and drills ha, but also optional & you can use a screwdriver bit in your drill or a hand screwdriver)
• Measuring Tape (optional) 
• Pencil (or Sharpie, crayon, paint pen of your choice, optional, feeling easy yet?)
• Wood Screws (w/ good sharp ones you don't HAVE to drill anything)

Lumber:  (2) 2" x 4" scraps (dimensions optional)
              (1) 1" x 6" scrap (dimensions optional)

Other Materials:  Yer flowerz & a camera so you can share your masterpiece.  And a phone in case you have to dial 911.  Hey, "proactive, not reactive" doesn't just apply to riding.

Dang.  Click to read labels.

Step 1:  Get your shit together (don't worry, not mentally, I'd never try that dangerous task!).

I dug my three pieces of wood out of my scrap lumber pile (collected from house construction dumpster; I didn't use a level, it was just in the bag).  They were all around 26" (I didn't care, just wanted it small enough to move easily), I just cut the end off one to match the shorter one (optional).  One also has a diagonal cut on end.  Don't care. 

In the photo above, the yellow box is drill bits and the cardboard box is leftover screws from my HorseGuard fence insulators.  Real pencils work better than mechanical pencils for wood, but I was too lazy to walk to house.  The drill & driver came as a set when my trusty Black & Decker finally died after over 10 years of very hard work in 2013.  Since I had to replace it and was moving to the farm, I made the switch last year to lithium batteries.  Worth. It.  As I learned from my dad, buy a good tool and you only have to buy it once.  And these really are a phenomenal deal if you do your own work, I use them every single day.  I didn't even know what an impact driver was but it came with the drill...and now I don't know how I ever lived without it.  Never strip a screw again!

Step 2:  (sorry, forgot a picture)  Lay your 1x6 flat on the ground.  Set your 2x4's where you want them on top (now your box should be assembled upside down).  Mark the inside edges of the 2x4's with a pencil on your 1x6.  Now you have an area on each side of your 1x6 to drill pilot holes so you don't end up shooting them through the edges of your 2x4's (ah, experience...)

Step 3:  Uh-oh, I spy a slight problem (aside from crappy phone camera depth of field fail).  My screws will be a bit short for a secure grip on the 2x4's.  I am too lazy to walk to the house (errr, theme...) to dig through scrap hardware box.  Solution:  I will drill pilot holes with appropriate sized bit for screw (you want to choose one just a tiny bit smaller than your screw diameter [I very scientifically hold them next to each other and eyeball it] so the screw can still bite into the wood).  Then I will use a larger drill bit to countersink the screws so I can drive them deeper without totally splitting my 1x6 to bits.

Sounds complicated.  Not.  In the drill bit picture, I used the 2nd bit from the right to drill the pilot holes through the 1x6.  Note:  I ONLY drilled through the 1x6, with it sitting on the grass because (1) I'm an idiot and would totally drill through my stall mats and (2) I don't want to drill into the 2x4 because I want the screw to have its best grip there. 

Then, I loaded fatty bit (seen in drill, I think it's 1/4") and on the top side of the pilot holes, drilled a larger opening just as deep as the head of the screw so the top of the screw will be flush with or slightly below the surface of the wood.  Now the screw will reach farther into my 2x4.  Woot!

Step 3:  My holes are drilled in my 1x6 so I line it up on top of my 2x4's and install screws.  Tips:  (1) Put a foot, weight, or a knee on the assembled box so it doesn't move during drilling.  (2) I put in corner screws first so they will hold the boards aligned so the rest of the screws are easy.  (3) This is where the impact driver is handy-the screws will be tougher to turn when they hit the 2x4 but the driver just laughs and does its thing.  (4)  I used 4 screws on each side.  3 would have been plenty.  I have a problem with over-engineering.  Because I am now kicking myself for not running a bead of wood glue in each seam before the screws.  Since plastic flowers are SO HEAVY.

WTF level??!

Step 4:  Woohoo!  You have a nice little box, as shown (you can see the diagonal end on one 2x4, I just left it, not important).  I was totally going to just eyeball the holes for the flowers, but I decided it would bug me later when they weren't centered, heh.  I had 5 stems (that's my $5 project cost, since I had everything else) so I just measured and marked where each hole would go, starting with the center and working out.  Naturally, I discovered diameter of stems was larger than diameter of chosen drill bit (*facepalm* of course, but I wanted to be conservative so stems wouldn't blow out).  Went up one bit size, all good.

Finit!!  Arrange, enjoy, and be creative!

You can now stain it, paint it, add more flowers, add more holes, use the sides, plaster with stickers, dance around it giggling at your awesomeness (hey, it's the little achievements), or...

Just Jump It!!!

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The Final Finale Of The Heart Of The Carolinas 3DE -- Finally!

Life is so inconvenient when it comes to blogging, isn't it?  And it all moves so quickly, sometimes I just feel the urge to lie down until it passes.

But only a, er, couple weeks late, the rest of (well, ok, a fair chunk of) the photo-documentation of the once-more incredible (and even more so next year when I get my hands on some materials!) experience that can only be expressed through the focus on the horse's face and his rider's tearful grin of achievement.

The Novice Show Jumping Course Walk with designer (& fashion maven), Marc Donovan

"Just ignore that dorky chick over there who keeps following me around and taking pictures."

Someone's found his perfect distance.

Rider glancing back:  "Damn!  How DOES he find shoes in the EXACT same shade of navy blue as his polo shirt??!"

Another Boni chainsaw masterpiece:  a pack of coyotes sets of Marc's brilliant stadium course

Art is an understatement

These palmetto standards were a lovely SC touch...through which to view escape attempts from questioning mobs!

She practices her casual Donovan lean in hopes of mastering the uber-cool.

Gorgeous sculpture frames this wide oxer, the last jump on course, which, it seems all parties agree looks rather large.  However, it rode extremely well!

A new Boni masterpiece in its infancy, destined to be mustangs guarded by a flock of eagles

 The final jog, with Head Vet, Dr. Debbie, & Ground Jury Members Amanda Miller-Atkins & Pam Weidmann

A beautifully presented competitor at the Sunday morning jog.

I rooted for this charming little Appendix all weekend!!

Bonus points if you look great AND make Dr. Debbie laugh.  Even if you are riding Jaws.

"Geez, more horse butts, sigh..."

The irresistible Sterling Silver and his owner, Justin Hull, await their turn.  A truly fantastic pony!

This loud leopard appy caught lots of eyes...and I think his owners nearly mowed me down in my golf cart twice!  Unless there was another dually coated with App stickers...

Dr. Debbie struggles to see both sides of Haffie butt at once.

These two, Paddington Bear and his little girl , were a special pair indeed.

Stadium Jumping

Some still had plenty of leaping energy left!

Half-halts are good, but educational note:  please do not put your hackamores on your horse's soft tissue, where he cannot breathe very well.

Andrew McConnon & CMA Special Messenger were all elegance and style

This lovely bay makes it look easy!

An excellent use of eye upon landing.

Brant Gamma's partner, Pete, captures a fancy leap over the corner oxer

Appendix pony is tired but game!

This mare's face haunted me -- it was like looking straight at Solo!!!!

TD Gammon:  "You never let me use the fancy measuring stick!!"

CD Marc: "The stick must be earned, padi-wan."

The folks who keep it together (mostly; L-R):  announcer David Frump, dressage judge/ground jury member Amanda Miller-Atkins, president of the ground jury/dressage judge Pam Weidmann, course designer Marc Donovan, event secretary Rick Dunkerton; in front of trailer, facility owner Brad Turley trades recipes with organizer Cindy Deporter.

Obligatory Haffie perky jump in the BN3DE

Then if you are really lucky, you not only get to take home your blue completion ribbon, medal, and goody bag, BUT also the big blue first place ribbon, like our N3DE winner and her elegant and big-hearted bay (although she says the tradeoff lies in his enormous bucks!).

However, as the endurance folks say (and as eventers should say more often):  To finish is to win.  And the partnership built with your horse in the process is like none you will ever experience anywhere else!  And maybe, just maybe, I still have some time left to get my own dang horse there.  In a thank you note from a rider:  "As a 67 yr "old fart" who has never gotten to do more than BN Horse Trials and one unsanctioned N HT this was an opportunity I did not want to miss. All the planning and training over the winter and the long haul to SC was worth it. I know now that my little mare can do it and what we need to work on to make next year even more successful." 

Perhaps it was summed up best of all by another competitor:  "Being an eventer means that at times, you take your lumps, learn, grow, and come back stronger the next time."

Mission Accomplished:  Marc Donovan, organizer Cindy Deporter, and the infamous Russell the Love Muscle.  I even got Marc to wear my Carolina International volunteer hat complete with smurf pin.  "Why?!" he asked.  Silly Marc, because it entertains me, do we need another reason?

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