It is hard not to let the heartbreak take over. Solo does not feel good, despite my plea with him to make the hock injections magically fix everything, despite what logic says.
I almost cried riding him tonight; I have finally gotten him where I want him. He is trained. As long as I stay in a long frame, he can do a lovely, round 20 m circle with consistent bend on a steady, round contact. Down the long side, he steps easily into shoulder-in which we can then shift immediately into a strong leg yield. Back to a cadenced sitting trot on the short side, then springing out into a bright extended trot, flipping his front feet out (extended gaits are his favourite).
His canter is balanced & he can stretch down & still hold a metronome of a rhythm. I can create & change strides to a jump or pole, jump at angles, & make balanced, focused turns.
And the second I try to shorten his neck & really engage his back, I can feel him go, "Sorry, mom, but that part is very sore." No more A game.
But I am still lucky.
I am lucky that I can walk into the barn & wrap my arms around his muscular orange neck, inhaling that beautiful scent that is his alone.
I am lucky that I can lean against his shoulder while he rests his nose on my thigh & I can feel the energy, the bond between us in that quiet moment.
I am lucky that I can still ride him, albeit lightly, but we can still explore some trails & we can still canter through the last, most beautiful day of August.
I am lucky that we can still hop over a few jumps; they are small, but they still make Solo's ears prick & lock on as he gets taller and brighter with happiness.
I am lucky that I have a great circle of supportive people in my little horse world, especially a fantastic mom who is always a million percent supportive whenever we need help, no matter what.
I am lucky that I ever met Solo & all his untapped energy & heart which were just waiting for someone to open the door.
I am lucky that we will get a tomorrow, even though it may not be the one I expected or planned or wanted. It will still be another day to cherish the inexplicable, indescribable relationship which has changed my life & has come to define what my center really is.
That, my friends, is lucky indeed.
1 day ago
AMEN! I wish that the list gets longer as time goes on... When I go out to the barn tonight... I'll hug Sugar and I'll send that wish to you and Solo out to the stars...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that Solo's back is still hurting. You have a wonderful relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteJust try to be patient - the path will reveal itself eventually. Really, I could send you my redheaded horse. Hey, Sunny's top knot is sorrel, so that makes her a redhead, lol.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel that I can write anything to make you feel better but Solo Is very very lucky to have you as a mum and I think you are lucky to have such a beautiful horse!
ReplyDeleteHe IS lucky little bastard, isn't he? LOL!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words showing a beautiful relationship! :-)
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteWe never know the gift horses will bring, but it is always a gift. Convoluted sometimes, but a gift.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Jessica, so true.
ReplyDeleteBest of wishes for you and Solo. I know what it feels like to have to sit and watch your horse's hind end waste away.. I went through the same with Zan.
ReplyDeletepraying for you guys.
Sometimes it's important to count the things we have rather than those we don't or wish we did... when you look at it the way you are looking at things, you and Solo are lucky indeed.
ReplyDeleteThank you -- he is also thoroughly enjoying the life of leisure. Mr. Shiny is getting quite sassy about his pasture time.
ReplyDelete