My Precious Is Wounded

It burnsss ussssss....

No, it's not the horse.  But I still love her.

It was a stupid stoplight thing.  We were sitting in line, the light turned green and the guy in front of me went go - NOSTOP and slammed on his brakes.  You just can't stop 7,000 lbs of truck in 1 second so we went bump.  Fortunately, the universe had a little pity and it was another 3/4 ton truck (damn Dodge didn't dodge!!).  I hate to think how long I would have been stuck there had we eaten the back end of a dang Civic, even at all of the 3 mph or so I was moving.

His truck sat a little higher than mine and had a 4-way hitch on it, so it was not damaged at all (whew!).  He looked a bit worried when he got out and saw I was a girl -- perhaps he feared histrionics?  But I was wearing my wildlife agency uniform jacket and I saw him look at that and appear relieved that I may not dissolve into tears and scream.  We ascertained that both parties were fine, we looked at my bumper, I said, "Meh, I don't care about dents, that's what BUMPers are for," we shook hands, we went about our business.

Actually, the only thought I had getting out of my truck was, OMG, PLEASE DON'T HAVE BENT MY SPECIAL SOLO PLATE!!!  But it was unscathed and I could breathe again.

The dents truly don't bother me, it's just the gaps on the side where the whole bumper is twisted down.  On the plus side, the Precious now does fit in as a true NC truck.  Eventually, I suppose I will go junkyard diving, we have a good one nearby, but it's hardly an essential part.  I crawled under when I got to work and nothing on the front end is bent, tranny cooler is fine, and all is well.

But next time you see the Flying Solo rig, it will just have a bit more...character.

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Time To Be Ready

The entries are sent in.  The checks are signed.  The Coggins papers are emailed to the appropriate people.  After a single outing at Maiden last fall (during which he thought the XC course was the best present he'd ever gotten in his life), Encore will make his spring debut at Beginner Novice in February and again in March.

I am very tempted to bump him up to Novice in March.  I have taken an informal poll among fellow horse people.  David says if he goes perfectly in February and it's all easy, go for it.  My friend, and my gut, say give him two BN's to build his confidence.

The February event (in two weeks!!!) is at a gorgeous farm in Vass where we school XC regularly, so I know the facility and I know the jumps.  I have not seen the stadium jumps but am well at home in the XC field.  I have no concerns whatsoever.  Dressage may be a bit messy, but I don't care -- I'm there for the horsey mileage and the sooner we can kiss BN goodbye, the better!

But it's complicated.  

Solo competing at CHP at Novice in 2010.  Photo by Pics of You.

Because the March event is at the Carolina Horse Park (CHP), my favourite place to event, but traditionally the courses are maxed out on XC -- that is the jumps are at the maximum heights and sometimes widths for the level.  The show jumping courses are designed to be ridden forward and confident and usually have at least one funky turn.  There is a new XC course designer for the lower levels this year (sniff, I LOVED Jeff Kibbie's courses), so I'm not sure what their approach will be.  Regardless, I hesitate to use this as a move up event as Encore has never been to CHP before and it is big, professional, and the last thing I want to do is overface him.  I want him to believe he is invincible.

So the likely plan is that he will remain entered in the Open Beginner Novice in March (it just doesn't feel sportsmanlike to enter Beginner Novice Rider when I have ridden at Training level, even if I didn't complete the event) and I will move him up to Novice at my very favourite event, Longleaf Pines Horse Trial, also at CHP, in April.

Of course, because I have long since learned my plans are made only to be derailed, I am not telling Encore any of this and I am confident something insane will happen between now and then.

Do you have big spring plans?  Training goals you are shooting for?  Trail mileage you want to rack up?  Dust you want to knock off?  Do share!  I am tired of sad, I WANT HAPPY!

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Saudade: The Sadness That Is Full Of Laughter

The Portuguese word "saudade" has no direct English translation, but describes a deep longing and love for something that may never return.  It can describe a collection of memories, of cherished moments whose recollection brings joy and allows one to relive past triumphs.

The Armenians have the same word, with a different spelling, the combines the sadness of loss and the nostalgia for times past with laughter, laughter from the unbridled happiness these experiences bring to our lives.  It is called "mall" or "permallje" and it encapsulates a complexity of human emotion in a place where English fails.

This afternoon, I took a few pictures (in a very cold wind!!) of the Main Man with his 2011 Area II smurf awards, for they really are his, not mine.  Solaris, my partner, my soulmeet, the horse whose spark shot to life with the first glimpse of a start box and who showed me a pureness of joy in his gallop, a relishing of the very motion and speed itself, that I had never known before.  I'll never ask him to jump a 3' jump again, but we may yet have a few gallops to share.  And there really is one word that fits what I feel when I look at these pictures:

Saudade, my friend, joy for the journey and sorrow for its end.  Permallje, my mate, for the laughter in those memories and the ones we have yet to create.  You changed my life forever and there isn't a single day that your eyes don't touch my soul.  Thank you. 

I swear to cod, he is smirking...

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No Day But Today

I'm going to steal that from Johnathan Larson, because there is no better way to put that apt truth.

I know I have hinted, but not explained but some things I just feel are not appropriate or relevant to this blog.  But there are a lot of very bad things going on in my life right now, affecting people that I love very much, and they are things that are impossible for anyone to deal with.  (The horses are fine and I am no more injured than I was a year ago)  I pour everything I have into Encore and Solo, physically and emotionally because right now, that is the only way I can cope.  It is true that, when you boil it down, life is surviving one thing after another, until the thing that kills you.

However, the reason I am writing this sobering post is to tell you with deadly seriousness, from where I am sitting right now, today is all you get.

It's a philosophy I have always lived by, but now it has become very VERY real to me.  In one whispered word, one simple moment, your future, your plans, your hope, anything, can be taken away from you in ways that you never even thought of.  It's like carrying a tray full of promise and then, with no explanation, your hands suddenly stop working and the tray falls to the floor, shattering into a thousand shards of loss.

In no way am I saying that you should live in fear -- nothing lasts forever, we know everything has its end, but we should not dwell in terror of the end.  I am not trying to depress you or worry you.  Rather, I am saying, reminding, relish your today.  And if you have an opportunity, take it.  Because tomorrow, next week, next month, four hours from now, your world can tilt on its axis and change everything.

People often tell me that I am crazy because I'm broke, but I have two horses and I compete (which would not be possible without the help of my amazing mother).  They tell me I should save my money, be more prudent, just wait until later.

But I am taking my opportunity now.  There is one thing, one passion that I know fulfills me and that I want to pursue more than anything.  And I am going to do it every second I have the chance to, to the limit of my abilities.  Because that opportunity may not exist next month or next year or in ten years, for physical reasons, for more reasons I can't dream up.  That's why, even when I have a not-so-great ride, I still untack my horse, pat his face, feed him a treat, and treasure his warm presence that day.

When I took Solo to his first event clinic 3 or 4 years ago, my SO was with us and snapping his usual 500 pictures a day.  I turned to him and said, "You know, you don't really have to take pictures of us just walking around."  A woman I didn't know was riding nearby and she turned to me and said, "You never know which ride is your last one."

Those words hit me like a brick and have stuck with me every time I get on my horse, and recent events have reminded me with crashing force that you can lose your plans in an instant that you never saw coming.  All I am saying is....

Treasure your today with everything you have in you.  Even if it's not the perfect ride you wanted or the score was lower than you shot for or you didn't jump as high as you wanted or even if it is a non-horsey thing....treasure the moments with your partner and treasure the time you spent doing what you love.  Time is yours to waste or use.  Never put that opportunity on a shelf for later, it is yours to make it happen now.

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The David Intervention: Pt. III

Encore looked at me like I was crazy.  You put me on the trailer, we drive 5 minutes, you take me off.  I run around for a while, you put me back on trailer, drive 5 more minutes, you take me off.  I nap, you want me to get back on trailer?  Does anyone else see how psychotic this woman is? Anyone?  Bueller?

Despite his skepticism, Encore stepped on with a sigh and we trundled back over to David's farm for YAY, JUMPING!  Except before YAY, JUMPING comes OMG, DEATH CIRCLE OF ARM-KILLING WARMUP.



My favourite part is when David said, "Hey, he learned something yesterday!"  I don't think we caught it on the video, as he was trying to save my battery, but I was so proud of my brown pony.  And I had to laugh at his unconscious clucking when I was supposed to apply leg.  As riders, none of us can help ourselves -- we all cluck for horses we are watching.

We didn't catch the canter work, but it was very good and Encore was able to maintain a slow balance.  The most important point I took from this warmup, especially the trot work, was that right now, we need to gooooo slooowwww.

You can see that Encore really struggled with the trot poles.  This is not because he has never done them -- we have done rows of five poles many times.  But he has never done them ROUND AND CONNECTED.  I could feel that it was very very difficult for him.  We continued to work on them several more times both directions and David assured me not to worry, he just needs to learn to find his feet without sacrificing the roundness and balance.

After this (and me shedding several layers of clothing), we moved on to a massive gymnastic.  Our first attempt:



To complete the sentence, David instructs, "When he lands, encourage him to canter away and move forward after the jump."  This exercise was difficult too.  We've certainly done gymnastics before, but not with an approach in such a slow, round trot.  It took us a few more goes to work that one out too; I had to really focus on softening my hand at the first pole, letting him lift his head to look at the jump, and keeping my shoulders back, not changing my position.  We did finally sort it out....




I felt like I rode this line rather craptastically, but there is more good advice here.  And I'm going to pretend that was one of the dogs belching, LOL.



Completeing the David sentence again:  "He a little bit ran out of distance there, but that is just him being green and figuring out where he needs to be.  Don't worry about it, that's just a matter of getting out and jumping lots of things."

We then did a myriad of courses, which I do have video of but got too impatient to upload them all.  Encore began to work out his footwork.  The oxers seemed to go better for us, but the short turn to the perpendicular vertical was very tough for us both (you will see in video).  I wanted to lean forward in the turn & hold him to the base of the fence.  I think we all know how successful THAT particular technique is.  Yep, I just got a hollow jump with a pulled rail behind, my bad, sorry buddy.  About halfway through, a woman entered & began longeing her horse on the corner -- I always welcome extra challenges, I feel it is good for the horse to learn from, but it made our turn to the diagonal line quite short & added another unexpected level of difficulty!   

This is our final course:



There are many fantastic tips from David in these videos, but I won't retype them all, else this entry would be ten pages long!  Leave it to say that I will be watching these over & over.  And over.  And over.

I can do it, mom!

But that was the end of it.  David & Lauren saw us off & I spent the next 1.5 hours on the way home trying to digest all I had felt & heard.  I turned my hard-working horse back out in his paddock when we made it back to the farm & went home to nurse that post-clinic funk.  Yeah, you know it, when you go, Awww, man, it's over?  But that was so amazing, I wanted it to last forever!  However, I am quite sure my shoulder sockets would have separated, which does put a damper on one's equitation.

So thank you again, Ryan, we couldn't have done it without your help, and THANK YOU, DAVID (although I doubt he reads this unless he googles himself, which doesn't seem quite his style) for an incredible two days of shoving us over a training hump & untangling my ragged mess of a brain.

Bets on how long before I tangle it up again?

So I shall leave you with that.  The red boys saw their vet today for their annual shots & Me Annoying Dr. Brian (Dr. Bob's alternate) With 10,000 Detailed Questions About Everything.  So all are resting and we'll see what we have tomorrow!

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