And then it occurred to me: OMG, HE IS MINE! Like an anvil from the sky, the weight of that responsibility slammed into me so hard it left me reeling. I found myself slightly short of breath at the prospect of being completely in charge of this huge and complex life standing in front of me. Dear god, what had I gotten myself into?! I thought 20 years of riding, working, being around horses would pretty much prepare me but all of a sudden I felt like I knew nothing. What if he got sick? How would I know? I didn't even know what a horse's baseline vitals were supposed to be. Sure I could ride, but I had never learned MANAGEMENT. What was his weight supposed to be? What kind of wormer did I need? How often did he need shots? I was going to kill him, I just knew it....
After nearly giving myself an aneurysm out of sheer panic, I had to swallow it all -- there was no turning back now! At least I had that tool without which all horse people would be lost: Google. There I could get so much information that I was in danger of being paralyzed into inaction, but dammit, I WOULD educate myself!
So I got to work. And I rode.
And I rode and I rode and I rode. And then I rode some more. With glee. There was no arena, but it didn't matter at this point. We needed conditioning. So we trotted up hills and walked down them. We walked up hills and trotted down them. We cantered across hills and circled up them.
It wasn't pretty, we were both out of shape and I couldn't afford lessons. I had purchased him with the lofty goal of "some messing around and maybe some 2'6" hunters." Of course, first we had to be able to trot for more than five minutes without being out of breath... But it was all about saddle time and that, at least, I knew how to do!
Man, I've gotta say, if that is you out of shape and "not pretty", well than I'm impressed. You look beautiful on a horse! You have a great position, one I would kill for even when I'm in shape! I'm really enjoying your blog, it makes me want to jump back into owning a horse again!
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you molly, that is very sweet of you! I don't know what I would do without my equine therapy and I am enjoying getting the chance to share his story -- thanks for indulging us and reading it!!
ReplyDeleteThis post reminds me exactly of how I've been feeling lately. The time is ticking away before Arizen is mine, and having just bought blankets that depleted my bank account, the reality of her responsibility is finally sinking in. Glad to know I'm not the only one! :) Love the blog...
ReplyDeleteGirl, you have to learn the magic of bargain shopping! ;-)
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