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We Are Flying Solo

May 16, 2010

Things That Make You Go Ew

Very few things gross me out. I'm a biologist -- my job is sex and poop. But I have weak spots. What can induce a gag reflex in someone who regularly gets spermed on by fish??

Because it's your lucky day, I will tell you!

(1) Having to touch dog poo. Even through a paper towel. Possibly the grossest substance on the planet.

(2) One day, my vet stuck her bare finger in my dog's ear, pulled it out coated with this black, yeasty substance, then sniffed it. I about lost my lunch on the exam table.

(3) Any kind of fabric in my mouth. Even thinking about it. Gack. Don't ask. It's a weird OCD thing.

(4) Working on a National Wildlife Refuge in Texas, we had collected a clutch of endangered prairie chicken eggs. I went to open one to examine it and it exploded. Grey-green liquified chick soup sprayed all over my shirt. Yeah, that'll do it.

And number five got me today. Because it's Weenie Cleaning Weekend for Solo. I broke out the KY Jelly (which won't burn like Excalibur can if you accidentally leave some on there) and lubed him up before the ride. And pulled out half a big white bean, knowing I'd have to get the other half out. That got the old heave muscles warmed up. Just be grateful I didn't succumb to the sudden urge to take a picture of it to post on the blog.

Ah, the things we do for our companions.


  1. yeah I work in the ichthyology division in a museum so not much grosses me out but I have to say that dog poop also tops my very short list. Yuck.

  2. Wow, I am a little surprised by the lack of photographic evidence of said bean.

  3. Sorry to disappoint, lh, but it grossed me out so much that I kicked dirt over it so I couldn't see it anymore.

    GPG, you don't happen to work in a North Carolina museum do you??

  4. Nope sorry. The Florida Museum of Natural History. I thought of another irrational ick for me though. Shrews. I have done a bit of small mammal trapping. For some strange reason emptying a full trap and expecting a mouse and getting a shrew really eeaks me out. No idea why. Maybe because their locomotion is so jerky and strange? Who knows. It does not make me sick of course just gives me the willies.

  5. The one downside of gelding ownership. Although my TB is blessed with the sort of weenie that requires no cleaning. The vet even did a thorough check last time he was out for floating & not a thing there! I knew I loved him for a reason :-) And then we bought Mr. Painted Pony & he was the proud owner of the biggest bean our vet has ever removed. I never knew what people were really talking about with the nasty smell of smegma until him. Blech.
    Also, I'm in the medical field & seriously? Dog poop is nasty business.

  6. ROFL about shrews! Those I have not trapped, only cotton rats and some marsupials in Australia. Now I will have to investigate them.

    Ugh, Jen, the smell is what makes the gag factor. Blarggghhhh...

  7. Oh gag..I've got a stinky one to clean as soon as the weather gets a little warmer...gack.
    Good tip on the KY, as I've only used the Excaliber..hmmmm that should prove funny at the local drugstore when I plunk down a big bottle of KY to purchase alongside a bag of Epsom salts, baby powder and vaseline. ;)

  8. Love it! And, I can relate to most of what you have on your list (although I have - fortunately - avoided the chick soup spray thus far).

  9. Keep avoiding it, Michelle, it's gross.

    And here's a tip on buying the KY -- it doesn't help when you blurt out, "Oh, no, it's for my horse!"

  10. Yikes. One of the many, many reasons I love mares.

  11. AHAHAH, SB, where's your sense of adventure!?