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We Are Flying Solo

February 19, 2010

Best. Saddle Ad. Ever.

World's most uncomfortable saddle
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Date: 2010-01-01, 11:41PM PST

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Like a ghastly specter from your darkest nightmare, this saddle has returned from the grave seeking vengeance. Its previous master thought it had banished it to the blackness of the abyss for good, but nay, it was only for an epoch.

Features:

*Steel rails forged by LUCIFER himself

*Genuine Auroch hide seat provides maximum chafing


I am reaching the end of my strength, as the madness contained within this dark artifact threatens to consume me. I cannot merely throw this adamantine saddle on the rubbish heap, lest some unwary passerby become transfixed by its lightless glow. No, I must only give this to one with the courage to look into the bloodshot eyes of insanity, and the strength to master it. A wizard with the cunning to master this beast gains an ally of unspeakable power: the ultimate theft deterrent. At the moment the thief straddles your steed, his fate is sealed. Eager for revenge upon mortals, the saddle will visit his arse with blisters that rival the torment of fire and brimstone... a dire lesson he will not soon forget. This same fate will befall any unworthy mortal who in his arrogance, attempts to mount the saddle of doom. Are you worthy?

Location: Green Lake

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.
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God, I love craigslist.

7 comments:

  1. that was seriously amazing. pretty awesome diction, lol

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  2. I think I have sat in the saddle or maybe it's brother.

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  3. I was also impressed by the vocabulaic (I just made that a word, did you see that?) prowess, checkmark!

    lh, remind me never to borrow that one from you.

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  4. That is AMAZING!! Where did you find that? HILARIOUS!

    www.wildponybeast.blogspot.com

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  5. Oooo, they used one of my fave words -- epoch.
    How refreshing to have a well-written and correctly spelled craigslist ad (that' also drop-a-lung hilarious!).

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  6. Hey, now that's an English major! Beautifully done. Almost worth buying on the ad alone.

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  7. That is courtesy of "best of craigslist", my favourite category on there. Breathe, I agree, the ad itself is a compelling sell, just so you could say you have the HellSaddle!

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