I don't know exactly how old he was. Maybe in his 70s, but up until a couple of years ago, he was strong, active, & capable of working harder than I was. The past couple years though, he has been taking care of his wife, who has terminal cancer, which has dragged on far longer than anyone expected. I can testify that the exhaustion & stress of watching cancer eat alive the person that you love is a deadly threat. And so it was - Richard collapsed of a massive heart attack & a relative found him in his home Sunday morning.
"Heartbroken" does even begin to describe how I feel.
The first time I met Richard was when I came out to look at this property in 2013. He was selling his back pastures, so he was also looking for a good neighbour. As he carried me back through his fields in his utility vehicle, his soft-spoken kindness & gentle humour immediately put me at ease. I fell in love with the parcel which became Flying Solo Farm, but part of that was due to added feature of having Richard next door. For two people from two very different generations, we had a whole lot in common.
We both loved horses; Richard with Buddy the Appy, last April |
I never could have built this place without him. He used his enormous tractor to bushhog over-grown fields for me. He moved & re-drove fenceposts so I could make new gates & he built the entrance road. He taught me how to repair & adjust the hi-tensile fence so it stayed safe for horses. He helped me improve my tractor bucket skills & pitched in to any project that was too big for my equipment.
2016: Fixing my driveway culvert |
As is common with those of generous spirit, Richard also had a deep & open love for animals. His quiet, gentle way with them endeared him to dogs & horses with the same effect he had on people. Broken hearts with darkened pasts found a balm for all the sharp edges that life cut into them. He was a quiet port in which to rest, safe for a moment from battering seas. It was his gift to abused equines. It was also his gift to me.
Richard loved horses above all. An avid trail rider, he showed me the vast network of trails across neighbouring properties that he'd strung together over the years & kept maintained. Although he had a weakness for a flashy paint, his favourite horse, his Solo, was an old-school, plain bay TWH named Big Boy. A big-moving, big-headed mahogany gelding overflowing with energy, the two of them used to do 15-20 miles a day the first few years I lived here.
I can't find any Big Boy photos, so here is Nobody, another of Richard's TWH & this was Richard's contact photo in my phone |
There's so many more good things I could tell you about Richard. He was well-loved in this community & you'd be hard-pressed to find a person he hadn't helped. He & his wife both grew up here in this small-town county & were related to everyone by blood or marriage. He went far too soon & I know I'm not the only person missing him terribly.
2014: Driving anchor holes for my first hayshed w/ 100 HP behemoth |
One day last summer, I did manage to coax him out on a brief ride in May, his first in two years. I didn't know then it would be his last ride, but it makes me doubly glad I did. It was a beautiful day, with summer sun dappling through the leaves & he kept telling me over & over how good it felt just to sit on a horse. I couldn't stop smiling watching him.
That ride: Richard & Smokey, me & Buddy |
Most of all, I miss one of the biggest hearts & kindest, most generous natures I have ever known. I owe him so much - I tried to repay him via barter whenever I could, grooming his horses when he couldn't get to it, fixing small things for him, mowing a fenceline while I was on the tractor -- but he was so dang capable, I felt like I could never keep up.
2015: Plowing my driveway with his skidsteer (part of this amusing story) |
I would ask this of you, readers, in honor of Richard: look for opportunities for a small (or large) good deed, which can be as simple as checking in on someone who is on their own. Don't wait to be asked - kindness unbidden is always a welcome gift & it is one that I will try to give more often because I know what it meant when given to me.
For Richard: I don't think anything magical happens when we die & I don't think you did either. Nonetheless, I choose to think of you meeting Big Boy on the other side, where you calm his anxious energy with a touch just like you did in life. May the two of you step out together on the trail that never ends, free of the aches & worries that piled up behind you, with not a single fly in sight. There will always be a part of you here on Flying Solo Farm & I will try my best to do it justice, even though I can never do it as well as you. I will never forget all that you did for me & I will miss you always.
Farewell, my very dear friend. Ride free.
I'm so sorry. He sounds like the very best of people and truly one in a million.
ReplyDeleteThis is tragic. I'm so sorry. I love the way you write about him. This is an incredibly touching eulogy. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss! He sounds like a truly incredible human.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful tribute to an incredible man. I am so sorry for your loss. ❤️
ReplyDeleteRichard sounds like a lovely man, the best of human kind. What a wonderful friendship you two built together. I can't imagine how painful his death must be to you. I hope the memories of your rides together will give you some kind of comfort as you continue to mourn his loss.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful tribute. Men like him seem so rare these days. Truly the best kind of human. I'm not sure anything magical happens when you die either, but i hope he is reunited with his wife and his horse.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like a very special person. So sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a lovely human, and a great friend. I'm so sorry for your loss!
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like an amazing human being. I am so sorry :(
ReplyDeleteSalt of the earth people are the best to have as neighbors. He sounds like the most amazing person and I'm glad you were able to know him for a while. Hugs to you and all those that are feeling his loss.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Richard and people like him are treasures. The world needs more - not less - of those gentle, generous folks these days.
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ReplyDeleteThis eulogy makes me wish I'd met him as well. The best sort of people leave permanent tracks on our hearts. Sympathies on your loss.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes are too blurry to individually thank everyone, so...thank you everyone, for your kind words. I wish you all could have met him too.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about Richard. He was such a kind wonderful man. Your words have me in tears, it really is a beautiful tribute to him. I too like to think he's somewhere riding Big Boy right now. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this....he was a kind and wonderful person and I always rested easier knowing he was next door. I know how much he helped you and how you both took the time to look after each other. Your life is the richer for having someone that special be there....I am weeping through this. As always, your words express the beauty of a true multi-generational friendship, so rare in these days. hugs....
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. What a wonderful person.
ReplyDeleteThank you all again. He is very very missed.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, so sorry for your loss. Good neighbors are hard to come across, especially the kindred spirit variety.
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